feeling lonely n tired

tired n exhausted. caretaker was in hospital so i had to go with her. i'm sure she had some sort of pd.
i am exhausted.
i tried to have a talk with a neighbor. i thought we were friends. but he soon started condescending me or so i thought. i dont know, i'm tired of being out of place everywhere...maybe i react to small stuff...i'm just tired n want to hide in some cave.

Hey jaus,
I know its hard for you and having to help your caretaker must have been difficult for you, is she ok now ?

Sometimes we all react to "small" stuff, but its still valid jaus, ofc when we are calm we can see that maybe we over reacted and feel silly ...but it will pass you know that, so try not to think about it to much ok, distract you thoughts (write a new short story maybe)?

i want to listen to some music but my ears are hurting..n my office wont even allow me to listen to music via speakers... life is so unfair..

on a serious note...
well the caretaker;s son has returned...he lives in other country n comes here just for a month or so in a year. i get triggered just looking at him. he lives in the neighborhood

he lives in other country n comes here just for a month or so in a year

What makes him a trigger, is it jealousy or anger?
How long will he be visiting ?

caretaker is too dependent on him. but he doesnt seem to care much. i feel angry at caretaker for being so dependent on someone who doesn't care back.

he'll be for a month at the most(i hope). normally he comes for 3 to 4 weeks, once a year.

Yes thats understandable then jaus, it will be hard to watch, try and keep yourself busy while the visitor is here if you can (i know your situation you know that) and i know that wont be easy to do but you must try ok, try not putting yourself in "situations" that are going to trigger you.

The good thing is that you are aware of this "as the problem" now you just have to find an escape while the visitor is there...hopefully they go out ? or stay out of your way.

You're a sweetie pie, jaus. If I met you, I'd give you the biggest hug ever.

NimplyDinply wrote:You're a sweetie pie, jaus. If I met you, I'd give you the biggest hug ever.

i wish i were wolverine instead. like super tough guy who flaunts muscles, rides heavy motorbikes, and can bring out claws from the back sides of his palms.

jaus tail wrote:i wish i were wolverine instead. like super tough guy who flaunts muscles, rides heavy motorbikes, and can bring out claws from the back sides of his palms.

not all people like that in a man tho jaus ...just be you

I agree, I believe jaus is one of the kindest people I know and also very talented and funny