Drunk texting and being ignored....

I have been reading over my old messages and the replies on this forum.....

I am still mentally stuck attached to someone I met over a year ago as if I met him yesterday.... we have contact again but it's still weird.

It is interesting to read the old posts... the advice seems to register much better as I'm not in that particular emotional state....

The problem is that I am still 'obsessed' without any good reason. I have tried an online therapist and that ended up being a waste of money.

Now he and I talk but only when I send him a message first. He never ever writes to me first. When I do write he almost immediately writes back and talks for hours.

He has invited me to visit but this was directly after I had brought up the amazing sex we had - he agreed that it was amazing and said he still thinks about it.

Now I am starting to think - why bother going to visit him? It sounds like he has a nice trip planned for us but I keep having so many doubts. I'm not sure if I should go and get this out of my system or delete him again from my life - like I did before.... but that didn't work at all......

Frustrating when this happens... you meet someone and there are things you really really like about him so you dare to get closer... then he pulls away without much explanation... you want to know what happened but this person isn't having it. He ignores you and that feels like a very bad bee sting... Just when you're about to forget him he will probably text you again. This seems how it works...

The only cure I've known is to be a bit bitchy... or maybe a lot bitchy... but try not to be mean exactly or overly emotional... hard to do if you have BPD... Right off the bat let him know what he did made you feel bad. He might not care, or he might argue with you... stand your ground but try to avoid saying mean things... again very hard to do if you have BPD

Other than that perhaps try some visualization techniques to reduce the feelings you have for him... imagine that he's in a crowd and somehow gets stripped of all his clothes... and then gets explosive diarrhea.

pirateeye wrote:but I also wanted to know why he would do something like that to me. It makes no sense. Extremely hot then cold then hot..

This was (is) important. Your obsession with figuring it out and having a resolution to the situation (as in the "action of solving a problem").

Where did this happen before in your life? Where did this happen first in your life? When someone treated you in a confusing and hurtful manner, and you weren't able to make sense of it?

@mostlyghostly! Wao.... I don't know why I didn't see the glaringly obvious before.... my parents totally. I realise that my mother is a bit nuts - probably because of all the mind games my father played on her - so growing up was always a 'mental challenge'.... one parent would ok something and the other would not be ok with it.... or one day one action would be ok but another day it wouldn't be ok... My entire childhood was like that.

But now that I've made the connection - how do I fix it?