losing it after 6+ months of normalcy

I'm furious with you. How could you. I'll never trust this forum again.

After being off for a couple of hours I came back and have read your posts. I am a little confused when you say 'You called the police", do you mean me? I did not call the police, honestly. If somebody did call the police they probably read the following post:

"Omg. Even you guys don't care. 20+ views, but no-one cared enough to comment. Goodbye to all of you. I can't stop crying. What a stupid way to go out. I thought someone on here might actually care. I'm the idiot for being naive. Goodbye to you all. I hope you succeed where I couldn't."

They probably got worried and interpreted the message as suicidal and called the cops. I'm sorry your trust has been broken. If it was it was not intentional.

I understand and was reacting badly. I want thinking straight at all. ... almost manic like. I felt betrayed by an admin on here. It just seems like there is no place or person that I can be honest with without repercussions. I have to always play an acceptable role, even on here.

That being said, I went too far with my frustration. They were the police though! It scared the crap out of me. In the end, the sleepy medicine combined with the klonopin helped me calm down. I'm better today and rational again.

Thank you for reaching out. It helped a lot at that moment.

I am not BPD but just an observation I made. From the time of your first post to the time of the post you said the police came to you, is less than an hour. I highly doubt someone on this forum could have contacted the police in 1 hour and then the police were able to reached you so quickly. I don't imagine anyone on the forum has your actual residential address. Are you making this up?

What a jerk. I didn't make up any part of that night, including my insecurities and issues. I'm not perfect and I was feeling manic, but the police did knock on my door. I believe the staff on here alerted someone. You can believe whatever.

I'm sorry if it didn't seem like anyone cared. I think phbb counts you looking at your own thread as views, even just reloading the page counts, so views isn't really a good number to watch.

For myself, I'm posting from work and I get interrupted everytime someone with manic schizophrenia wanders up to the station to spout word salad at me. Then if I get autologged out I have to login and then look to see where I was before the interruption.

I do wonder how staff here would have gotten your address. Geolocators usually can't get more precise than the city you live in, and cops are usually too busy to track someone down if they don't have an address.

For their part, even tho their manner can be brusque and border on rude, police are just trying to ensure safety. I'd say a visit from them indicates someone did care, just maybe not in the way you wanted. They wouldn't be looking for an arrest, at worst they'd pink sheet you into a crisis stabilization psych unit somewhere, but you can usually avoid even that if you are willing to contract for safety with the crisis worker who screens you.

Thank you. A couple of things though.

First, I don't remember posting that comment. I feel really weird right now because I don't have any memory of that situation. I don't remember any person ringing my doorbell or knocking. I feel kind of crazy because I don't even remember posting such a thing on here. To say that I'm confused would be an understatement. I'm truly not trying to exaggerate or fib. I am really confused right now bc I can see that I made those statements in my history in this forum and they even sound like me, but it's really weird bc it's not me and I don't have any memory of any of it. I'm freaking out right now with confusion.

-- Fri Apr 22, 2016 11:35 pm --

The unknown loner wrote:After being off for a couple of hours I came back and have read your posts. I am a little confused when you say 'You called the police", do you mean me? I did not call the police, honestly. If somebody did call the police they probably read the following post:

"Omg. Even you guys don't care. 20+ views, but no-one cared enough to comment. Goodbye to all of you. I can't stop crying. What a stupid way to go out. I thought someone on here might actually care. I'm the idiot for being naive. Goodbye to you all. I hope you succeed where I couldn't."

They probably got worried and interpreted the message as suicidal and called the cops. I'm sorry your trust has been broken. If it was it was not intentional.

I'm not sure if you've been able to read my other comments or not, but thank you so much. I have no memory of our conversation, but I trust in my responses to you and you appear to have helped me. I'm really confused right now though. I feel like I might be crazier than I realized. I have no memory of anything that happened during those couple of weeks when I was venting on here. I don't remember any of it and it appears that I made several posts which I just read tonight. I'm really confused right now... I think I might be crazy and don't know what to do. I'm really confused right now and am unclear why I wouldn't remember so many conversations.

Imperius wrote:I am not BPD but just an observation I made. From the time of your first post to the time of the post you said the police came to you, is less than an hour. I highly doubt someone on this forum could have contacted the police in 1 hour and then the police were able to reached you so quickly. I don't imagine anyone on the forum has your actual residential address. Are you making this up?

I am so sorry. I just read a really unkind comment that I think I might have made toward you a few weeks ago. I have no idea why I was mean and I don't even remember saying any of it. So much is confusing me right now. Please know that you were very kind and I'm so confused by my comment and have no memory of any of it. I'm really upset right now and confused.

Hi Fluffysocks,
I can only image how this could have looked to you at the time, I myself have only just found this post and reading all your post on this thread can see how it may have looked,

I can say without a doubt that all staff here care 100% all staff here are volunteers and that should reassure you that care is what is important.

I am sorry that you felt ignored ..but not all views are registered users
I am really glad that your safe ..i hope you gain some reassurance from my words.

Sunfall wrote:I'm sorry if it didn't seem like anyone cared. I think phbb counts you looking at your own thread as views, even just reloading the page counts, so views isn't really a good number to watch.

Also the unregistered members that read cant reply unless they make an account,
this site has a lot of "guests"

@sunfall
I'd like to also thank you for being the first poster to reply ..you have helped so much here