do you think things will get better? tw

hi,

i personally dont. i dont have much hope in life. not asking for sympathy but being honest to myself.

i pray to die in sleep soon, so yeah, my life is crap. bpd or not, i have enough unhealthy memories of self hatred and stupid acts by myself towards others....

what about you guys...

Ya know what i think. Like Amorous put it in another thread, we might always struggle with some aspects but i believe there is a day when we can be free of most, or the most disturbing symptoms, the ones that affect our lives in such negative ways. But for that to happen, we need to hang on and show resilience.

Yes, I believe so. Though I am feeling confused today.

But still I can see the steps of improvement. And because things are moving, they will go for the better, not necessarily straightforwardly, but little by little.

Imbalance, uncertainty often makes people sad, hopeless.
So the imbalance in you vs. around you means that your awareness has grown, but maybe it has not yet reached all areas. I feel myself that I'm stuck at this stage.
But so much has happened, so there is more to come.

I also think they just might get better, yes. Because I can look at where I am today and see improvement from a year ago, and from six months ago too. So I see the stepping stones to improvement, it's just hard to see the big picture when the pain is so huge. And the problem so big. The thing is, I only got here by hanging through some really rough periods. Doing Opposite Action when I felt like doing Target Behavior. Day by day piecing it together is how I got from there to here.

sometimes i'm making progress but then i have a relapse and feel, 'what's the point?' might as well let the relapse take over, i mean we all die one day, either i brood over past mistakes, what's the point...

Perhaps you are at an advanced stage of the transformation process, positive thinking I don't know your background, but I'm atm reading a CBT book. The change begins with the fact that you do in some areas, contrary to what you've always done. It may seem (feel) rather "bad and uncomfortable." But doesn't mean that it actually would be wrong, or there was something wrong with you.
Certainly it takes time to adjust changes. From you and others in relation to you.
As well as finding (new) boundaries.

I am sure you know all this.

It won't get better.

*mod edit*

I guarantee that it can get better,jaus. Sometimes we have trouble coping, but the ball has to bounce up sometime....we enjoy hearing from you.....stay with us...

jaus tail wrote:sometimes i'm making progress but then i have a relapse and feel, 'what's the point?' might as well let the relapse take over, i mean we all die one day, either i brood over past mistakes, what's the point...

I know the feel. We all do! But actually, relapses are normal. This might be because BPD (or any other mental related issue) are not like a physical injury where you recover and that's that. I know you're trying, so give yourself some credit there.

Jeff Spicoli wrote:It won't get better.

*mod edit*.

I didn't want to comment on this, but couldn't help it. This kind of comment is incredibly unhelpful and should i say, even triggering. Dying is easy once you get past the fear; however surviving and dealing with your own issues for yourself, thats strength.