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Whats the point? TW

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Whats the point? TW

Postby rocknrolla » Fri Oct 24, 2014 2:46 am

I have to wonder sometimes, what the point of all this is.

I wanted to kill myself, went to a mental hospital - they gave me drugs, and a new way to look at life. I marched out of there with my new viewpoint and my calmed mind, and was ready to tackle the world.

Then, all the reasons I wanted to kill myself started to reappear: I feel disconnected from the world; I feel like I don't relate to anyone else. The politicians and governments don't really care about us. We're destroying our environment, people are killing each other, my pay is way too low, I don't have energy to change my life, I have no interest in the things others are interested in, nothing makes me happy, people are rude judgmental, and, and, and…I have no love or hope for anything or anyone in this world. I have nothing in my life to even smile for.

I can think of a million reasons to kill myself and only 2 or 3 reasons to live.

What's the point of living? We will all die anyhow. Whats the point of therapy? Just to go back into a sick world, with rose-coloured glasses on. Why should I keep trying to live a life, that I don't want? Why try to heal, when those around me, don't care? Why does my family and friends beg me not to kill myself, then continue to do the things that made me want to die? Why? why? why?

Meh…I don't even know what I'm writing about anymore. I'm angry, depressed, and I have nobody to talk to. My psychiatrist said "don't come back" my family says "we're not equipped to handle you" my friends say "dude get over it". ######6 hell. I just don't know why I should try to change. My drugs are clearly not working. I'm depressed and angry, and I'm on seroquel AND citalopram.
"Broken, bruised, forgotten, sore...Too ###$ up to care anymore"
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Re: Whats the point? TW

Postby jaus tail » Fri Oct 24, 2014 6:09 am

Then, all the reasons I wanted to kill myself started to reappear

I've realized that mental illness, like any physical illness, won't be cured away easily. It's like if i have a cold then even if i take medicines, there are 99.99% chances that the cold will come back. Similarly whatever methods i adopt to recover from mental illness, i've admitted that there will be relapses.

I feel disconnected from the world; I feel like I don't relate to anyone else. The politicians and governments don't really care about us. We're destroying our environment, people are killing each other, my pay is way too low, I don't have energy to change my life, I have no interest in the things others are interested in, nothing makes me happy, people are rude judgmental, and, and, and…I have no love or hope for anything or anyone in this world. I have nothing in my life to even smile for.


You dont have to connect with everyone. One friend or one partner is all we need. I have a plant in my house and i water it daily. I dont water all the plants in the world.

Even i feel disconnected quite often but i've realized that maybe i'm different. Maybe the problem is with them and not with me. I was in a bad group of friends that was very unhealthy for me. I used to feel guilty that the problem is with me but now i've realized that i was just in a bad place with a very toxic environment.

About the politicians and governments, this is true but i dont care about it. Even if they started to care, my mental health won't improve.

Life is a blank canvas. No one will give me a reason to smile. I have to search for it myself. As much as harsh this may sound, it is true. I go to the park where i often play with a cat. The cat cheers me up by snuggling next to me, rubbing its back against my leg. Now i cant expect for the cat to come to my house.

Yes we all die anyhow. About what's the point...the point is different for everyone. A teenager wants to have sex with about a million partners, one of my neighbor has extreme affection for her pet dog...when her pet parrot flew away, she would sit at the window sill and stare at the sky hoping for the parrot to return, the prime minister/president thinks his purpose is to develop the country, a thief wants to steal, folks on reality shows want to use foul language and get publicity for themselves, a farmer wants to grow crops so he could help themselves, a kid wants to get good marks...

the point is different for everyone...for me, i have no purpose/hope as of now...i dont even know why i'm living and it's ok. its like if my leg has a fracture it will take a week to recover...so if i'm in depression/disturbed state of mind, i understand that it will take more than day or a few replies from a forum to recover...it's allright

it's hard when you have nobody to talk to...loneliness can be tiring...take care
exhausted
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