On vacation I met a girl that seems to have a lot of borderline and avoidant traits. She's a rather shy girl who doesn't wear make up or dresses sexy even though she's still a pretty girl. She's 17 and has never had a boyfriend before. The worst thing concerning boys that happened to her is that one she liked suddenly stopped texting her. Altough she used to be shy when I met her, we started talking a lot, tease each other and she was looking for innocent physical contact. After spending a lot of time with her she would either suddenly ignore me or say something hurtful though. The whole time those mixed signals confused me. She would only say "I hate you" in a jokingly(?) way to me. Everybody around us felt like there was something between us.
After she left she would text me non stop making me feel like I was an A priority in her life. However, she would warn me, that she had a dark side, was no good for me, didn't wanna hurt me and that she was acting innocent in front of me so that I would like her. I didn't believe her since I thought she had a distorted view of herself because she always claimed she was ugly and fat. When we talked about seeing each other again she seemed scared and basically told me to go anywhere but her place lol. I was then also told to go find a girlfrined. Even tho she liked skyping at first she wanted to rely more on texting cause she had to "protect herself from feelings". Every time she would admit that she was afraid of losing me or that she missed me, she would go crazy and I would be on the receiving end of all kinds of passive aggressive behavior.
After losing it after a small agruement and expressing that she had a certain feeling that I would stop texting her she got increasingly cold. She would text less and less, lie, avoid me and sometimes not reply to my messages. I didn't understand what was going on until I found out about personality disorders such as BPD and AVPD. Every time she expressed feelings for me, she would later find crazy explanation to make it seem like it had a different meaning. She said I shouldn't believe her words and then made me feel like I was nothing special to her. She once even said that she thinks it might be better to end our communication before things get too serious between us. One time she said that she didn't care anymore if I left her and then started crying which she later denied. At this point I feel like we make no progress. I told her I wouldn't tolerate her passive aggressive behavior and lies anymore and that she should just tell me when she needs some space. However, she still seems to keep her real feelings from me.
I don't wanna leave her but at this point I don't know what to do or to expect. What does "I hate you" mean in this context? Is she even ready for a real relationship? How do I have to react and treat her if I want this relationship to work? And do I have to expect her to text other guys too? I don't think she has the time for other boys right now but I'm not really eager to find out I'm not the only one she used to boost her ego. Long distance relationships are hard enough but it would be even harder with a partner I couldn't trust. I'm not a bad guy and I'm looking for a good solution for both of us. However, I do have some self respect and don't wanna be played with. I'm pretty sure she does have feelings for me but she's so scared to open up and make herself vulnerable to me. Does anybody have good advice for me? Thanks in advance!