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bpd and gender stereotypes

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bpd and gender stereotypes

Postby SBBro » Mon Oct 20, 2014 3:00 pm

Do you find that you are a bit more like the opposite sex than your friends, ie female in to video games. Male in to appearance?

Apparently the fear of abandonment plays in to being desperate to the point of subconsciously wanting to become the person you are attracted to wanting to get under their skin and being them and part of that is taking on elements of the opposite sex that your friends would not be interested in.


I think some people confuse this with being bisexual, I'm borderline and certainly not bi but I do connect well with women I just can't keep them because i can't hide the madness.
2012 "just anxiety"
2013 inpatient 'suicidality, MDD etc
2014 "youve been diagnosed with everything under the sun"
BPD
Current meds: Zoloft 25mg
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Re: bpd and gender stereotypes

Postby justagirl00 » Thu Oct 23, 2014 5:50 am

Well I'm female and I'm pretty feminine. I like feminine, girly things. But I can also be tomboyish. Very little though, I'm pretty overwhelmingly feminine.

I think there might be something to what you say though. I read that bisexuality and homosexuality is common among BPDs. I wouldn't be surprised if BPDs are more likely to be transgender also. I think it might have something to do with identity disturbance, lacking a sense of self, etc. I've considered turning gay, but I am so inherently heterosexual, I couldn't be gay if I tried.

I'm not sure I follow exactly what you're saying about getting under the person's skin that you're interested in. But I think I've seen people do this. Like if a girl knows a guy who is really into sports, and she wants him to like her, she might try to be really into sports too, to make herself more attractive to him. This is not something I consciously do, but I'm sure there are pwBPD who do this, consciously or unconsciously.
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Re: bpd and gender stereotypes

Postby AmorousDestruction » Mon Nov 03, 2014 2:04 am

I'm bi, but I'm pretty sure it's just the fact that enjoy having sex with girls and guys. You're confusing gender identity with sexual orientation. The two are quite separate.

I'm pretty feminine and follow fairly typical gender norms- enjoy playing with makeup, don't care too much for sports, etc. The only thing that really gets me compared to dudes is my sexuality. I'm hypersexual and insatiable. But even that is stereotypically female-patterned- I don't usually get off to porn or visual stimulation, I'm submissive, etc.

I tend to become more interested in what my interest is interested in sexuality when I'm with someone, but that's about as far as it goes. I tend to find like-minded people to be with. But then again, I have a fairly firm identity and don't like faking it to attract people.
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Re: bpd and gender stereotypes

Postby blank identity » Mon Nov 03, 2014 2:25 am

I've also read that sexual and gender identity issues can be common with borderlines because of problems with identity confusion. I find that to be true with me.

I'm not really the most comfortable talking about it. But I'm gay, and more in the middle of the gender spectrum. Some times more feminine, some times more masculine.

I wear female clothing, but dress in an androgynous way.

So I don't know if it's due to my identity issues because I'm BPD or whatever. But it does seem to be a common occurance.

But of course I definitely agree that sexual and gender identity are completely separate and unrelated things. Though that doesn't mean that one can't have issues with BOTH at the same time.
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Re: bpd and gender stereotypes

Postby HotForHotHotForCold » Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:38 am

I would definitely say I'm a bit more stereotypically female than most guys, but I think that's partly the fact that borderline traits are stereotypically female. I also have occasional gender identity issues though. In general, anything you can add "identity" to, I'm pretty confused about.

It's certainly possible that there are people out there confusing their sexualities with other identity-related issues and BPD traits would make that more likely. I kinda hope it's not common though because I can't tell at all if other identity-related issues influence or confuse my sexual orientation and frequently wonder about it :?
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Re: bpd and gender stereotypes

Postby Caribee4me » Mon Nov 03, 2014 7:52 pm

I'm female and definitely female, although I don't really wear makeup beyond lip gloss. To dress up I will put on some foundation and mascara, but that's about three times a year. I love to wear dresses and skirts though. My mother would definitely call me a tomboy. But anyway, other than the no makeup issue, I'm all woman but tend more toward the middle-of-the-spectrum in terms of gender expression I suppose.
Dx: BP1 mixed rapid-cycling, BPD, PTSD
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