Do you find that you are a bit more like the opposite sex than your friends, ie female in to video games. Male in to appearance?
Apparently the fear of abandonment plays in to being desperate to the point of subconsciously wanting to become the person you are attracted to wanting to get under their skin and being them and part of that is taking on elements of the opposite sex that your friends would not be interested in.
I think some people confuse this with being bisexual, I'm borderline and certainly not bi but I do connect well with women I just can't keep them because i can't hide the madness.