Does your family/parents support you?

One of the biggest challenge for me with all this are my parents.
For some reason they just don't support anything with my battle with all this!

They just look at it like "oh get over it'. I am into homeopathy and other alternative medicines and my mom totally doesn't see things in this perspective. She starts yelling and asking why I am taking these stuff?! If it works for me, why does she always question my way of dealing with my own issues??

I've finally realize and see that i will never get that love from my parents! there is this little child that was still hoping that they will! Through many hours of therapy, ive finally opened my eyes and accepted this fact! its sad, but its the awful truth!

My mother take any instability I have personally, and makes it about herself, "I am such a bad mother, wah wah wah." Yeah, mom. You are right. It's totally your fault, but you make it harder now, so I just hide my crazy from her. That way at least one of us can have an alright time.

My step dad doesn't understand why it is like that. He in a sociopath. So there is that.

Caustic wrote:My mother take any instability I have personally, and makes it about herself, "I am such a bad mother, wah wah wah." Yeah, mom. You are right. It's totally your fault, but you make it harder now, so I just hide my crazy from her. That way at least one of us can have an alright time.

My step dad doesn't understand why it is like that. He in a sociopath. So there is that.

OMG! ur soo right about this! i have a good feeling that my mom feels the same way! she gets really defensive etc! hence why she starts yelling! i feel like i am dealing with another child instead of my own MOTHER!!!

my bpd is because of an unhealthy caretaker. i dont even feel like talking to her about the issue. at times i feel sorry for her loneliness(since she's got no one now), but when i see her face, the anger returns.

i wish she had been a better person in my early years, for her sake only.

Sorry to hear about your parents being invalidating rang. Mine are supportive regarding my mental health issues now, but also i noticed things improving after realizing i can be the one to give myself the help and support i need, just like i would do with a child.
Im basically offering myself the care and need i could not get from them while i was growing up so im parenting my inner child so to say.

Im-pure wrote:Sorry to hear about your parents being invalidating rang. Mine are supportive regarding my mental health issues now, but also i noticed things improving after realizing i can be the one to give myself the help and support i need, just like i would do with a child.
Im basically offering myself the care and need i could not get from them while i was growing up so im parenting my inner child so to say.

great points im-pure. i feel this is the very lesson that i need to see and do! i have to be the one to take care of my inner child and stop seeking from my parents. like i said on original post, i realized now that i have to stop expecting that love from my parents , not gonna happen in this lifetime

Financially, yes. Very much so. My DBT program is expensive and only partially covered by insurance.

Emotionally, the jury's still out. At first my mom was really unsupportive. Called BPD a fad diagnosis and told me she didn't think I had it because I'm high functioning and she'd only heard about low-functioning cases. But she's warmed up to it. I think accepting that she had something to do with it is hard for her because she tried to be a good mom. But my grandmother had untreated bipolar and was really neglectful and an all around bad mother so I think the emotional distance when I needed attention and affection and emotional validation was more a symptom of that. She definitely puts my academic and career achievements over my mental health, which has always been a problem.

But while she doesn't get it, she still tries. She sat with me for a while on the couch where I had been crying on and not moving from for 3 days after my last breakup. She really wanted me to feel better and was worried about me. She said kind of invalidating things like "he must not have cared about you really if he treated you like that" and "be a good feminist and don't let men and relationships rule your life" when I needed "people can hurt you even though they care and I bet he just freaked out and didn't know how to handle it" and "it's ok to grieve but it will get better and you can be ok on your own". It kind of hurt but the fact that she tried meant a lot to me. Sometimes parents just don't know how to be supportive, especially if they have their own mental health issues.

Caustic wrote:My mother take any instability I have personally, and makes it about herself, "I am such a bad mother, wah wah wah." Yeah, mom. You are right. It's totally your fault, but you make it harder now, so I just hide my crazy from her. That way at least one of us can have an alright time.

My step dad doesn't understand why it is like that. He in a sociopath. So there is that.

This is exactly what it's like for me, My parents although very aware of everything that has and is currently going on, stand of two fronts.
My Father gave up, Told me I was useless and lazy and kicked me out, He still texts and calls everynow and again but as far as I can decipher its for his personal feelings not for my own wellbeing.

My Mother has kind of just forgotten about it and tends to get overly angry and annoyed with me, even when i'm trying my best to be reasonable. Even when I show slight dissapointment she tends to go off in a huff and cry about how everything is her fault. My only problem is, this often triggers malicious impulses and I end up antagonising her, which turns into a circle.
I recently came to the conclusion that Expressed Emotion (EE) may even be a potential affect-ant of the way I am.

AmorousDestruction wrote:Financially, yes. Very much so. My DBT program is expensive and only partially covered by insurance.

Emotionally, the jury's still out. At first my mom was really unsupportive. Called BPD a fad diagnosis and told me she didn't think I had it because I'm high functioning and she'd only heard about low-functioning cases. But she's warmed up to it. I think accepting that she had something to do with it is hard for her because she tried to be a good mom. But my grandmother had untreated bipolar and was really neglectful and an all around bad mother so I think the emotional distance when I needed attention and affection and emotional validation was more a symptom of that. She definitely puts my academic and career achievements over my mental health, which has always been a problem.

But while she doesn't get it, she still tries. She sat with me for a while on the couch where I had been crying on and not moving from for 3 days after my last breakup. She really wanted me to feel better and was worried about me. She said kind of invalidating things like "he must not have cared about you really if he treated you like that" and "be a good feminist and don't let men and relationships rule your life" when I needed "people can hurt you even though they care and I bet he just freaked out and didn't know how to handle it" and "it's ok to grieve but it will get better and you can be ok on your own". It kind of hurt but the fact that she tried meant a lot to me. Sometimes parents just don't know how to be supportive, especially if they have their own mental health issues.

Financially yes, my mom supported me and shows resentment because of this. i am having problems couping with life etc. she makes sure to remind me of this and show ZERO emotions. I think she's an NPD and so is my father (who abused me physically, mentally and emotionally when i was young) and why i am going through this disaster of a personality in the first place. my abandonment issues stemmed from my mom.

when i was going through a breakup and was having anxiety attacks, i cried to them... i literally thought i was going to die and both of them made it even worse by placing the blame on me! told me it's my fault ... its just how it is with my family, i can't change these people. i am a sensitive empath and i end up caring. tried to do the right thing because of guilt (i don't even know why i feel bad, low self-esteem, this seeking to get approval from them) but end up getting the same results... NOTHING!

Btw, i told her that i am taking these salt homeopathic pills for my depression and ptsd. you know what she told me? she said, why are you taking those, you are going to get a heart attack!

Really? for the life of me, i dont understand where their thinking comes from. they are always in fear all the time!

My parents are also not supporting. They act and pretend like they're there for me but around me they don't. My parents do not care when I am making big strides that is surprising my counselor. Also, the counselor says how it is good to get little rewards when I make a big step (and it does not have to be something you have to pay for), and my parents are extremely mad about that and my mom rolls her eyes anytime I say some big step I have made, almost like she is pissed at me for getting better.