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BPD - Rules/Guidelines to live by

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Re: BPD - Rules/Guidelines to live by

Postby Caustic » Fri Jul 25, 2014 1:41 pm

This is crazy hard to pull off, but when you do it right, it will prevent almost any argument.


BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are tired as opposed to well rested. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

BE SKEPTICAL, BUT LEARN TO LISTEN
Don’t believe yourself or anybody else. Use the power of doubt to question everything you hear: Is it really the truth? Listen to the intent behind the words, and you will understand the real message.
"You're only given a little spark of madness.
You mustn`t lose it"
-Robin Williams
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Re: BPD - Rules/Guidelines to live by

Postby Havoctoria » Fri Jul 25, 2014 2:51 pm

Laugh, m**********r, laugh.
So allein will ich nicht sein
Ich such dich unter jedem Stein
Ich schlaf mit einem Messer ein
Wo bist du? Wo bist du?


Regina (host; diagnosed with BPD and MDD) | Gray | Helen | Len | Barb | and at least four others
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Re: BPD - Rules/Guidelines to live by

Postby BabyBlue321 » Sat Jul 26, 2014 5:14 am

Well I start with:
- Always try to acknowledge and accept your emotions, instead of fighting against them. There is no right or wrong way to feel. If you do not accept or acknowledge your emotions, but instead judge or criticize yourself, then you may have a secondary emotion on top of everything, which only increases your suffering! Something that helps me is to see emotions as another sense, they are there to tell you when something is wrong, when you need to change something to meet your needs better.
- Always try to be nonjudgemental. Judgements come from painful emotions. Instead of sticking a label on something/someone, stick to the facts and the emotion that you are feeling. This helps to neutralize things.
- Don't believe all your thoughts. Let them go.
- Think of the long-term effects of what you may be doing that helps in the short-term but makes things worse in the future.
- Accept reality! Remind myself that I am 100% responsible for my life.
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Re: BPD - Rules/Guidelines to live by

Postby ElKahn » Sat Jul 26, 2014 5:28 am

- Acknowledge that yor happiness doesn't depend on someone else. It all depends on yourself.
- Don't expect everyone to live up to your expectations. The more you expect this to happen, the worse you will feel if those expectations are not met
- Try to think about all the bad consequences of your impulsive actions, and teach yourself to think twice before doing something
- Acknowledge that idealization is a product of your mind. Nobody is perfect, no, not even that person you think is the best one in the world
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Re: BPD - Rules/Guidelines to live by

Postby Caustic » Sat Jul 26, 2014 5:39 am

So we all have these rules for ourselves? I thought I must be the only one doing it. LOL! How absurdly irrational is that thought. I must be at least a little narcissistic.

How do your rules work for you?
"You're only given a little spark of madness.
You mustn`t lose it"
-Robin Williams
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Re: BPD - Rules/Guidelines to live by

Postby Cheze2 » Sat Jul 26, 2014 12:18 pm

Caustic wrote:How do your rules work for you?

haha I think mine are more of words I would like/strive to live by, not necessarily that I do.
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Re: BPD - Rules/Guidelines to live by

Postby Im-pure » Sat Jul 26, 2014 3:55 pm

Cheze2 wrote:
Caustic wrote:How do your rules work for you?

haha I think mine are more of words I would like/strive to live by, not necessarily that I do.


Same...im pretty good with the theory..but oh the practice. Because the first reactions are usually the ingrained patterns, i had to write them everywhere. And not forget to look. Im a very visual kind of person with a bit of photographic memory, so i always remember written words better. I still feel frustrated when my reaction is not what i strive to change it into. But i definitely improved.
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Re: BPD - Rules/Guidelines to live by

Postby capricorn1964 » Sat Jul 26, 2014 7:43 pm

Hi, not trying to be negative, but surely that's easier said than done. At the time i'm not thinking about any rules...infact i don't think, i can't think of much when having a wobble !!!! Let alone any rules!!! It's dealing with the guilt after, not about what i'm doing or thinking about at "The Time" :!: :!:
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Re: BPD - Rules/Guidelines to live by

Postby Havoctoria » Tue Jul 29, 2014 4:21 am

Here's a guideline I actually DO follow: Never tell my partner(s) to disown their friend(s) or family member(s) unless I believe the individual is a genuine threat to my partner's well-being. Love is an amazing thing & I want the people I love to receive as much love as humanly f*cking possible. If I could give him thousands of lovers, thousands of best friends & thousands of brothers/sisters, I would. I sure as hell don't wanna see him lose the ones he has. Even if I hate some of them & am often insanely jealous of them. ._.

I find this rule very easy to follow. Maybe it's selfish of me in the end; maybe I just follow it to make myself feel righteous. Maybe it's to avoid the powerlessness of actually trying to control his social life & potentially failing. Either way, he appreciates it. We've been together for almost two years and this is the first time I ever expressed a desire for him to ditch certain friends. Only because these particular friends only accept him because they think he hates me.

Dicks...
So allein will ich nicht sein
Ich such dich unter jedem Stein
Ich schlaf mit einem Messer ein
Wo bist du? Wo bist du?


Regina (host; diagnosed with BPD and MDD) | Gray | Helen | Len | Barb | and at least four others
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Re: BPD - Rules/Guidelines to live by

Postby Havoctoria » Tue Jul 29, 2014 4:27 am

Even in this case, it isn't like I'm giving him an ultimatum. If he wants to keep them, so be it. But he already knows that if any of them cross me directly, I will beat their muthaf***in' asses.
So allein will ich nicht sein
Ich such dich unter jedem Stein
Ich schlaf mit einem Messer ein
Wo bist du? Wo bist du?


Regina (host; diagnosed with BPD and MDD) | Gray | Helen | Len | Barb | and at least four others
Havoctoria
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 6058
Joined: Sun Sep 08, 2013 5:12 am
Local time: Thu Mar 28, 2024 5:20 pm
Blog: View Blog (71)

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