new girl intro - question for you all.

I am not diagnosed with bpd. but I am pretty sure I have it. the reasoning is no money to get a diagnoses and no support my family thinks its all in my head and that I just want something to be wrong with me . They don't understand. Also I believe I have such a mild case of it that it would be hard to diagnose Like i don't even meet the 5 needed to be diagnosed. Anyways my question to you guys.. I have not had sex yet. I have been waiting it out and putting it off.. I know a lot of bpds are very sexually active. so I am scared once I start having sex I will become addicted. how do I prepare myself so I am not addicted once I start?

I am not sexually active because of my impulsiveness is base off of going outside at night, s/hing, and getting drunk. Though if I was still on campus then maybe since there alot of guys around me at clubs and late at night.
If you do become sexually active, you may use that as an impulsiveness cause you have the resources to have sex. I dont know but it depend on who you are.

Try talking to your family about the specific problems you're having and don't label yourself with BPD. Maybe they would take you more seriously then. Only a professional can diagnose you or know for sure if you have it.

First off, welcome to the asylum!

Secondly, assuming that you're correct and you do have BPD (although you really should go get diagnosed), it's not so much sex itself that is the addiction - it's love. However, in lieu of true love, most of us will take any available substitute...like sex.

That doesn't mean that you will, though; not everyone does. There are no hard and fast rules about what you can and can't do with BPD. Even before I was put on meds, I was never a player; I was the hopeless romantic. Heck, the first girl I had sex with, I was with for three years, and we were engaged during that time. And some of the meds that we're put on can have side effects of killing off the sex drive.

So don't think that, simply because you may have BPD, the minute you get laid once, you're going to start banging everyone that moves like a screen door in a hurricane!

Please! I am not being rude but don't put this sexual stuff out like we hump anything with a pulse. I stayed a virgin until I thought I was in love. Then after being dumped abstained until I met someone new and had been with them for like 9+ months. Then I met my Husband. We've been together 7 years, yes I have been bad in the past but sex is not like my vagina needs to eat anything.

The need is not sexual, it's physical. The fact somebody WANTS you, desires you, will give anything to have you. That is the addiction, not sex. It's also control - on my part any way. But I have not and never will cheat. My Husband is my life.

hey naenae (a nickname I have also been given in the past!)
I dunno if you can really know until you've had sex, or start having sex as to whether you will be addicted to it. For me personally, I have a really high sex drive which I didn't know was a common factor of BPD.. its just something I've had for a few years.

Welcome

I'm pretty much in celibacy because of the impulsiveness. When I don't get an impulse and go have sex, that is.

As for your question I agree with the other replies you've already gotten, we're mostly in it for the looove rather than the sex itself and it's individual and yea.

I might be borderline. I some traits and a similar perspective either way, but I've been celibate for years--since I lost my virginity. I had sex just to try it (but was very cautious), but I have no craving for it at all, really, and I could probably go the rest of my life without it. In fact, I have a slight fear of it even though I've had it before and it was fine. I don't think borderlines are by default, hypersexual. Many of them probably just use sex as a distraction or temporary feeling of connectedness, but that's not the same as an addiction.

I never was a sexual one, actually I'm still a virgin right now. I really see no reason to do it, I just don't feel it. Others like the feeling it creates and that's what makes them do it so much. It all depends, but I wouldn't stress too much. And if you feel yourself starting to fall into that habit, you can stay aware and learn to not let it happen.

there is always the chance of being addicted. i got addicted to physical contact. What do u wanna get out of sex? For me, it is more of emotional intimacy through physical intimacy.. next is sexual arousal. i'm not a fan of sex. there is more to it than some thrusting. and make sure u won't regret any of it. i regretted some of it and that sucks. i had more sex to numb it. it's never ending. a vicious cycle. if i were a therapist, i will recommend to replace it with something else.