Our partner

relationships

Borderline Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: lilyfairy

relationships

Postby madjoe » Tue Jun 25, 2013 5:01 pm

what do you expect from relationships
with friends
bf/gf
familly
madjoe
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 5946
Joined: Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:03 am
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:56 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: relationships

Postby MessyMackenzie » Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:23 pm

unconditional love and lots of giggles
I said, "Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void,'
- he said
"It's all in your head,' and I said, "So's everything' -
But he didn't get it
MessyMackenzie
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 101
Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:02 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:56 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: relationships

Postby Cheze2 » Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:34 pm

in a bf/gf relationship:
physical closeness. It doesn't have to be sex (though that is very important too! :wink: ) It's a sad part about having BPD, or perhaps just a sad part about being me. I have to physically feel someone love me in a relationship, or else I just doubt the whole thing and in return don't feel any emotion/love towards the other person.
Bipolar I with Psychotic features; Borderline Personality disorder; GAD
Currently going through LOTS of med changes. Today's cocktail is: Tegretol 300mg; Quetiapine 100mg; Latuda 80mg; Trilafon: 8mg
Forum Rules
"No matter how long the night, the dawn always breaks" -African Proverb
User avatar
Cheze2
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 4373
Joined: Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:36 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 2:56 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: relationships

Postby JustinB113 » Thu Jun 27, 2013 12:02 am

Back when i dated before I was diagnosed, from a girlfriend I really expected pretty much a soulmate. Someone I always talked to, telepathic understanding. Someone who completely understood me and no arguments ever. My emotional expectations were set way way way too high and I used to expect this of a best friend too. Now after a lot of work, I understand that sometimes there are going to be fights, sometimes I'm going to be snubbed for something else and I'm working on coping on this, but just with friends for the time being. Not to say that I won't in future, but right now not quite ready although a lot closer to it than i was :)

With a girlfriend I would want a lot of physical closeness but honestly sex is not really such a big issue with me. I find it quite awkward. I feel fat (which is ridiculous, because I'm skinny, although I have somewhat of a beer belly) and I'm not comfortable naked nor am I comfortable with my dental hygiene for more than a kiss on the lips although I do look after my teeth so I don't know why I have this hang up. I have some side effects of an anti-depressant that a relationship with great communication can easily work around and have a healthy sex life, but I wouldn't feel comfortable on a one night stand or anything.

With not a best friend, I'd expect them to be nice, friendly and not to upset me too much. Really with me it's best friend or acquaintance. Family, it doesn't matter what my expectations are. They are who they are and you can't choose them. I'd like my sister not to upset me too much, and strangely right now I wish they weren't so helpful (lifts to and from work, less rent than most, food bought for me, washing and ironing). I appreciate it, but being more independent might help me and they don't encourage me enough that way. I'm kinda misunderstood by family.
JustinB113
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 251
Joined: Wed Jun 19, 2013 11:08 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:56 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: relationships

Postby MessyMackenzie » Thu Jun 27, 2013 3:41 pm

Cheze2 wrote:in a bf/gf relationship:
physical closeness. It doesn't have to be sex (though that is very important too! :wink: ) It's a sad part about having BPD, or perhaps just a sad part about being me. I have to physically feel someone love me in a relationship, or else I just doubt the whole thing and in return don't feel any emotion/love towards the other person.


omg this! i get so sad and angry when i'm out with my boyfriend because he doesn't like being all love-y in public (like not even holding hands or stupid sh*t like that). horrible feeling. Makes me want to cry and ask him why i'm not good enough or something.

good to know i'm not alone in this hahaha
I said, "Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void,'
- he said
"It's all in your head,' and I said, "So's everything' -
But he didn't get it
MessyMackenzie
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 101
Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:02 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:56 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: relationships

Postby JustinB113 » Thu Jun 27, 2013 3:44 pm

MessyMackenzie wrote:omg this! i get so sad and angry when i'm out with my boyfriend because he doesn't like being all love-y in public (like not even holding hands or stupid sh*t like that). horrible feeling. Makes me want to cry and ask him why i'm not good enough or something.

good to know i'm not alone in this hahaha


I read some article once called "how does she hold your hand" and it was pictures of couples holding hands, and "true love" was where the fingers were all inter-linked.

So now I've gone through life thinking if she isn't interlocking her fingers when we hold hands then she doesn't really love me and we should probably break up. Thanks Yahoo articles :( :( :( :mrgreen:
JustinB113
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 251
Joined: Wed Jun 19, 2013 11:08 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:56 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: relationships

Postby msangeedepp » Thu Jun 27, 2013 3:57 pm

validation with all them!!!!


which is the very core of BPD
User avatar
msangeedepp
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 847
Joined: Sun Dec 18, 2011 10:10 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:56 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: relationships

Postby msangeedepp » Fri Jun 28, 2013 12:55 am

Well I can see where that might be an issue..

But I am not thinking validation as in a total picture persay.. If someone treats me like a human being, they are pretty ok in my book..I am a lot more willing to give them grace when they make mistakes if they treat me half way decent
User avatar
msangeedepp
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 847
Joined: Sun Dec 18, 2011 10:10 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:56 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: relationships

Postby msangeedepp » Fri Jun 28, 2013 1:26 am

LOLS you did waka waka!


You are the bees knees archer!
User avatar
msangeedepp
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 847
Joined: Sun Dec 18, 2011 10:10 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:56 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: relationships

Postby madjoe » Fri Jun 28, 2013 6:25 am

msangeedepp wrote:validation with all them!!!!


which is the very core of BPD


delicious supply

i think a lot of problems come from expecting to much and that's why i made this post
madjoe
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 5946
Joined: Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:03 am
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:56 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Borderline Personality Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: AutumnLeaves, Baidu [Spider], ElKahn, liz_lemon and 192 guests

cron