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For BPD women: do you hate your bf?

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For BPD women: do you hate your bf?

Postby mtcndr » Wed May 15, 2013 10:16 pm

Are there times when you hate him and feels you don't like him anymore? My gf always do it but then runs for me like she loves me so much that can't live without me, and says we're gonna marry. Then 3 or 4 days after, she hates me again.
Do you have it? If yes, can you explain me?

Thanks!
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Re: For BPD women: do you hate your bf?

Postby centerpath » Wed May 15, 2013 10:31 pm

Here's a spot for non BPD folks to post questions for BPD members that choose.

borderline-personality/topic47447.html

regards
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Re: For BPD women: do you hate your bf?

Postby katana » Wed May 15, 2013 10:39 pm

They didn't get me on those criteria. If I ever end up hating men its usually in a situation where I feel more like this flower:
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Re: For BPD women: do you hate your bf?

Postby prettylittlelilacs » Thu May 16, 2013 12:36 am

Sometimes, in the heat of the moment when my blood is just absolutely boiling I feel an extreme dislike for him, yes. I wouldn't necessarily say hate, well ocassionally... but then about five or ten minutes later I remember how much I really don't despise the earth he walks on and how he is a pretty good guy... and then I feel absolutely horrible for the rotten nasty feelings I held towards him and instead get so upset and angry with myself for being such a horrid person and feel depressed which makes me begin to think about how much better he is than me/wonderful/amazing/yadda yadda. :roll: Never ending cycle.
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Re: For BPD women: do you hate your bf?

Postby noreally_imfine » Thu May 16, 2013 3:16 am

mtcndr wrote:Are there times when you hate him and feels you don't like him anymore? My gf always do it but then runs for me like she loves me so much that can't live without me, and says we're gonna marry. Then 3 or 4 days after, she hates me again.
Do you have it? If yes, can you explain me?

Thanks!


Yes. pwBPD do this and its called "Splitting". its the black and white type thinking. I love my boyfriend so much but if he hurts me at all and i feel like crap, i hate him and never want to talk to him again.

I USED to say lets break up, don't ever talk to me anymore again. stop right now. then when I'm calm ill say I'm sorry i didn't mean it i love you I'm really sorry.

its literally like i shut off. there is NO logic, just emotion present. I'm riding whatever intense emotion i feel and THAT is where my thinking is. its not reasonable at all.
“Oh, you think darkness is your ally? But you merely adopted the dark. I was born in it. Molded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man. By then, it was nothing to me but blinding! The shadows betray you because they belong to me!” - Bane
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Re: For BPD women: do you hate your bf?

Postby katana » Thu May 16, 2013 10:15 am

Hmm, I clearly don't have this aspect of BPD. (I split entities, organisations, ways of life, choices. etc.)

Mostly I see rules as "guidelines", and I'm only interested in the ones I make myself, but there are some I do tend to live by - if a person is my friend I will treat them with decency in any way which would make a large impact on our friendship if I didn't, but I expect the same back. Pisstaking etc is squabbling, while deliberate attempts to screw with a person or their life - either in reality, or in ways which could easily be translated into reality from the setting they're in, cross the line between squabbling and conflict.

Squabbling will make me irritated though it won't actually harm me unless it takes up so much of my time its taking away from my quality of life, but cross the line and I'm not very nice because I ask a certain amount of decency from people who would call themselves my friends, and if they're willing to try to use aspects of our "friendship" against me, they are not my friend. But basically the first place I apply any sort of code or understanding of how people need to treat each other to get on is to how people treat me, and I don't make compromises there.

Treat me with respect and I will respect you, treat me like an idiot and I'm not interested. You could say part of it is my error for misleading people in thinking they can treat me that way through my own retreat into lala land, my message to the person in question would be sorry but I needed a break from life and I'm sure they'll understand that better than any. The situation cannot be sorted from my end because I'm not the one who did it. Its not about them, its about their actions, and possibly their stinkingly insulting opinion of my intelligence level.
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Re: For BPD women: do you hate your bf?

Postby aliveatnight » Thu May 16, 2013 6:11 pm

mtcndr wrote:Are there times when you hate him and feels you don't like him anymore? My gf always do it but then runs for me like she loves me so much that can't live without me, and says we're gonna marry. Then 3 or 4 days after, she hates me again.
Do you have it? If yes, can you explain me?

Thanks!


I don't do this per se. For me, if there's an action done that would trigger that type of response, then I tend to get mad and hurt, but after a second of thinking it's to the actual event that's occurring, not him. And then I get really depressed and upset at myself for being so irrational. It sucks horribly. And I would never use the word hate. It's only dislike at the most.
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