I think you're right. When I find a new one, I should probably explain the situation and keep looking at new ones (within my insurance network) until I find one who seems compatible. In the past, I have definitely given most information to other professionals. The only things I have not mentioned are current self-harm (though I mentioned past self-harm) and past sexual abuse. But I have mentioned everything else including the repressive environment where I grew up.
Your experience made me think of something. Could it be that those who see I have an Asperger's diagnosis simply don't want to stigmatize me? Some people think that BPD is very stigmatizing, and some therapists even refuse to treat someone with BPD. If they can explain things in terms of something else, maybe they only do BPD as a last resort. I have the results of several psychological tests, including the ink blots, that all support BPD.
Tell me what you think about this proposal; it's basically what happened to you, except in reverse: fairly early on, I will say that I am interested in DBT due to problem X, Y, and Z. If the therapist like the idea, then I will bring up the topic of insurance and ask about getting a diagnostic code for BPD.
In my country, private corporations control everything, and everything is driven by insurance coverage. If a doctor believes that a certain type of treatment will be helpful, he or she will simply look for a diagnostic code to match it. If the doctor is convinced that DBT would be helpful for me, and that nothing else would be helpful, he or she may feel a professional obligation to diagnose me with BPD if I do, in fact, easily meet 7/9 of the DSM IV criteria and 100% of the DSM V criteria.
What do you think, or is this just my passive-aggressiveness coming out?
Nobody knows what the hell I am. Officially: Asperger's, Nonverbal Learning Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Disassociative Disorder - NOS, and now, finally, Bipolar II.