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Looking Older/fear of getting old HELP PLEASE!

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Looking Older/fear of getting old HELP PLEASE!

Postby HellsNotSoBad » Sun Aug 08, 2010 3:31 pm

Hey, I'm new to this sight and although I haven't been diagnosed with BDD I think I definitely may have it.
One of the MANY things I obsess over and fear is getting old and looking old. I am a 20 year old female and EVERYONE thinks I look older. People tell me all the time I look 23, 24, that I could pass for 25. My whole life I've been told I look older and it's ###$ with my head to such an insane degree that it has actually ruined my life. Because of this I actually think I look 30 at age 20 and obsess with my face. I sit in my room and look at my face in different lighting, I think i'm prematurely aging and I am becoming obsessed with putting sunscreen on. I compare pictures of myself from three years ago and I think I've aged tremendously! I feel like I'm aging at an abnormally fast pace. At the age of 20 I feel like an old hag and that I'm already past my prime.

Once I was at the drs office and my sister came in a few days before me who is 26. The receptionist got us confused and thought I was my sister, and when I told her I wasn't she asked who was older me or my sister. I literally felt sick to my stomache with hurt. My aunt even told us we looked the same age. I can't ######6 take this $#%^ anymore. It's driving me nuts. I'M 20 YEARS OLD. I should have that beautiful youthful look. My friend even said to me the other day that I didn't have a youthful look, that I had an adult look. By the pace I'm going i should look like the ######6 crept keeper by the time i'm 30!

I haven't left my house in 5 days and i've been crying in my room. I sit in my room for hours at a time examining my face wondering what it is that makes me look so much older. I dont understand, and please don't tell me that its my lifestyle or because I drink because that has NOTHING to do with it and usually that stuff doesn't catch up with you until you are MUCH older. I smoke pot and drink occasionally but not so much that it would make me look 10 years older!! I have no social life because I hate the way I look so I party much less than the average 20 year old. I know people my age who smoke packs a day, drink like fish, do drugs and are out all night around my age who still look their age, hell even younger! as for makeup I don't go overboard at all, just wear mascara and some concealer and lip gloss. I'm not overweight, I'm pretty slender. There is nothing I do to make myself appear to look older. For some reason people just assume I am and its eating me alive.

Am I overreacting? Is it bad to look older when you are 20? Does anyone else feel this way? I hate leaving my house and I dread going to bars where they ID you because I'm afraid that if the bartender or bouncer doesn't ID me I'll break down and it will ruin my night. I don't even go out that often because of my insecurities but when I do this is the kind of crap that I have to deal with on top of feeling monstrously ugly all the time.
PLEASE HELP this is ruining my life!
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Re: Looking Older/fear of getting old HELP PLEASE!

Postby wowser » Mon Aug 09, 2010 2:39 am

Hi there. I don't have the answers but I can say I know exactly how you feel. I have looked older all of my life, when I was 17 my friends would send me to buy alcohol as I never got asked for i.d. I used to think it was quite cool when I was younger but not so now I am 30! I've had BDD since about 11 years old in various forms, the worry about aging really kicked in at about the age of 26 when eye bags started to develop, I soon became a sort of a social recluse due to how old I thought I looked, spent ages pondering over wrinkles and getting so upset. You try to say to yourself you are imagining things but then people actually confirm that you look older, one lady at slimming world thought I was 40. It does hit you like a ton of bricks :( I think unfortunately some of us do just look older. When I was 27 someone thought I was 35, and the other week someone thought I was 35 so maybe I am just an ageless entity who will look 35 for years, even when I am 55 :D one can hope!
Oh my new obsession at the moment is the lines around my neck, I have taken to sleeping with a pillow under my neck !
My symptoms are helped by medication. I have been to psychotherapy which did help me for social anxiety but did not do much for BDD. I'm thinking of buying a self help book to see if I can calm my thoughts somehow.
Good luck with it all I hope you can find some relief x
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Re: Looking Older/fear of getting old HELP PLEASE!

Postby Fugly_Photo » Thu Aug 12, 2010 2:46 am

If you are only 20, and people are mistaking you for 5 years older, then it could be the way you carry yourself or even clothes. Do you dress really maturely? My sister in law was in her 30's and wore things a 50 y/o would put on. She just always looked older and acted alot older than her age. Just my two cents.
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Re: Looking Older/fear of getting old HELP PLEASE!

Postby oh_that_guy » Thu Aug 19, 2010 11:54 pm

This is the reason you needn't fear or obsess of getting older: You are fretting that you look five years older than you actually are. Five years is a long time? Only a youngin' would think so - an elderly person would associate five years with that one night at the bingo hall, not to be stereotypical in saying old people only play bingo, but they do play it. That in itself should reveal you aren't as old as you think you may be.

By the way, what does an age look like? Any answer you give relates to age groups, not a specific age.

I'm 22 and have a patch of gray hair, it started turning gray at 17. Does that make me look older? Who knows what other people think. I don't think you're worried about other people thinking what age you are, I believe you just want to be impervious to time. Time exists, you are here on earth and will experience such in the same way you experience gravity. You may be able to become weightless for a short time through freefall and whatnot, but the long-term effects of being weightless having negative effects on the body, since the body was developed to go along with gravity. Just like that, your body was designed to experience time. If people weren't, nobody would age, time wouldn't matter, as it shouldn't with you.

I'm not sure if you can apply that and if it'll help at all, but I would say if that's all you are worried about right now, things are going GREAT for you.

Oh yea - I still look young, but I hated it when I looked like a little kid, when you look like that people talk to you like you don't have the capibility to understand and comprehend. That was my experience anyway.
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