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Help...please...

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Help...please...

Postby mbuti » Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:11 am

Today has been soul-shattering for me as I realized that I probably have BDD.... I am just curious if anybody knows of a sort of...ethnic dysmorphia? I feel like I was born into the wrong country and into the wrong body... but to the point that I feel like I can never fit in with anyone anywhere. I don't fit in in America, because I feel like I belong with the BaMbuti of Africa, but I can't fit in with the BaMbuti because I'm not even African. So I feel I have no option but to kill myself, it makes me that miserable....

How can I fix it?
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Re: Help...please...

Postby Chucky » Mon Apr 05, 2010 10:00 pm

I can only relate somewhat to what you're saying here. I was born in Ireland but I never fitted-in with the Irish 'way' of living. I feel like I would be better off in Italy or France, but I'm not going to explain why here because this is your thread. Are these the only reasons why you feel you have BDD though? - Surely there is much more to tell in your case, and I think it might help you if you talk more. Still, don't be disheartened by 'learning' that you have BDD. Instead, You can use this piece of info as a turning point - i.e. you now know what is wrong with you and should therefore be better able to manage it.

...or at least that's what I think should now happen.

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Re: Help...please...

Postby AuroraGoryAlice » Fri Apr 16, 2010 4:02 pm

All I can say is that I kind of understand. I am Black and from England and while I sometimes do feel like I AM indeed from England, I don't feel Black at all. I can't explain this to anybody purely because of all the crap Black people have to go through as it is. If you are a Black person you are supposed to be 'a strong Black individual! Proud of your race and proud of the struggle' and I am neither of those things, I am proud of anybody that comes full circle in the face of adversity - of course, how can you not be... but sometimes I just don't care - I didn't ask to be Black, I just am so why is it I have to feel so many ways about being Black? It annoys and angers me, I just want to be human, I want to be left alone and I am sick of all of the connotations and stereotypes that come along with being a part of this race, not to mention the fact that I hate myself, I hate the way I look (not so much my skin colour as I like being brown, but I hate my size, my shape, my teeth, my hair, my beady eyes etc. etc.) and the BDD has begun to make me hate my facial features, and hate people who resemble me. This has been the worst thing, hating people who resemble me. I seem to shy away from other Black people in my every day life.
I have always felt I should've been Asian or White or Latin or generally anything but what I am, and yes I am ashamed of myself for saying that, and I know this is strongly related to my BDD.
Sorry, I have just poached your thread but I just wanted to tell my story to show you I can kind of relate to what you are going through.
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