Newbe....

Hi,
I am new to these forum thingy's! But So fed up with my life as I feel it is always on a fast track to no where.
I am 32 yr old female who has 2 children. I have had BDD since puberty - I was sexually abused as a child i think this may be the cause of my bad self esteem issues.
i find that aging has made my BDD alot worse and the obsession is ruling my life! 'Normal' people think i must be vain etc and are sick of me getiing treatments/surgeries (mainly because of the money factor). But i must admit this day and age of perfection is ridiculous.
I hav no career (i used to blame this on having childeren early - howeva they are older now), i sabbatage everything that i do in order to improve my life - as this BDD takes over EVERYTHING! I am not on any meds and am too scared to take them in case they dont work and side effects are just another issue! i have been on antidepressants before - which i too an over dose of - as i was annoyed they wernt making me feel any better.
i spend alot of time exercising to creat the ideal body through weight training - to the point of re-current injuries, skin pick, hate reflections in diff mirrors in diff lighting thatshows up skin flaws.
I just feel fed up and fear that i will feel like this for the rest of my life as it feels like i have been already.

I am relieved now that i am on here and sharing this as 'normal' people dont understand this at all - and yes i can understand how michael jackson suffered.
LOU LOU

Hi, loulou! I'm glad you found our forum. Medication can have side effects, but it's better to get treatment than suffer because of your illness. You could try a little therapy and see what meds work for you, together with your psych. It can take a little while for them to kick in. How are you doing?