Boyfriend's BDD impacting our sex life

Yes, this has been part of my recovery work. It is so hard to deal with both of these issues since they seem to feed into each other.
Has there been a correspondence made between BDD and abuse? It would seem that any negative attention given to one's body, whether it be in the forms of inappropriate comments, looking, or touching, would make one more likely to have a distorted perception of one's body. Sexual abuse was only part of what led me to see myself as ugly or freakish. I was also made fun of by others in junior high school.

Hi,

Yes, I have heard of a relationship between BDD and abuse; and also eating disorders and abuse. You seem to have a lot of things from your past that have contributed to your BDD, things that should be talked about openly to a professional. You're already doing this though (aren't you?), so, good work *thumbs up*

I developed problems with my body by remembering every hurtful comment ever said to me throughout school, but also due to trying to be excessively athletic. I have Bulimia, by the way.

You mention the focus on athletics as contributing to your bulimia. I noticed when I got interested in dance, that I became more critical of my body. I was anorexic for several years. Dance can be, unfortunately, really bad for perfectionists because one is always looking at oneself in the mirror, and the expectation is to be a thin as possible. I imagine that athletics can be similar since the focus is on the perfecting the body. Wouldn't it be nice if these really healthy aspects of life (dance and sport) could be about loving our bodies and not hating them? How does this go so wrong? Although, I believe that our issues have psychological dimensions, I also think they are social as well. Just look at the crazy messages the media is constantly sending us! We have to be really brave and intelligent to fight it.

I think that people are great if they can cope with being in a relationship with someone who suffers from BDD. I know as a sufferer how much time I spend obsessing about my image. I can never be in a relationship because it would be too much pressure for me. It is difficult encough to cope myself. It must be really draining for the other half. Well done to all because you must really love these people to put up with their disorder. You are helping them all the time even though you probably think that it is sometimes two steps forward, three steps back. Everybody needs love..................

Linda S wrote:You mention the focus on athletics as contributing to your bulimia. I noticed when I got interested in dance, that I became more critical of my body. I was anorexic for several years. Dance can be, unfortunately, really bad for perfectionists because one is always looking at oneself in the mirror, and the expectation is to be a thin as possible. I imagine that athletics can be similar since the focus is on the perfecting the body. Wouldn't it be nice if these really healthy aspects of life (dance and sport) could be about loving our bodies and not hating them? How does this go so wrong? Although, I believe that our issues have psychological dimensions, I also think they are social as well. Just look at the crazy messages the media is constantly sending us! We have to be really brave and intelligent to fight it.

It would be great if we could find some - how should I say - 'peace' with our determination for athleticism and dancing. However, I think that people like you and I just don't know when to quit and we go 'overboard in our efforts. Oddly-enough, I know a Greek girl who used to be a dancer but had to give it up due to being bulimic. My brother's girlfriend is an ex-dancer too and she toured the world. She's in her 30's now but I suspect that she's had problems in the past because she doesn't have many friends.

Thanks for your words, Innerchild.

Kevin