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Useless by pixi3 on Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:21 am
I have been misusing pain meds and antihistamines lately. Get the feeling I might be getting a bit dependent on the codeine. But now I've run out of the painkillers and feel crappy and I'm worried about trying to get more in such a short period. These things are monitored even though its otc stuff it gets logged against your name and address.

Been a bit better on the eating thing, but only because I've had no choice. Only really eat when I'm being watched. Boyfriend is getting suspicious. I don't want an ED label, or any label really, and yet I realise that my thought processes around eating are not good, but I can't seem to stop them. It's possibly the control involved that makes me feel better about myself somehow.

Yesterday we went to the movies and I thought great, we can share popcorn and that way he won't know how much or rather little I have. And I can get out of dinner. But then there was chocolate and I had too much of that and the popcorn and now I'm feeling crappy and fat and want to cut. Its every second thought that goes through my head. These urges had subsided the past few days but now they're back with a vengeance. Idiot.

Been feeling unattractive. The boyfriend is showing no interest. I don't know what I'd do even if he did.

All my problems are self made. Probably for that reason that I feel like I shouldn't be posting. Like its disrespectful somehow. It's why half the things I write never make it out. I feel useless.

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Help - is this avoidant pd, social anxiety, or something else? by Trafmt on Tue Feb 28, 2017 3:26 pm
Feelings: I want to hide from people. I feel judged. I feel like internally screaming. I want to run away. I want to escape. I don't want to be seen. I don't want to be judged. Hiding is safer. I don't...

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carnaval by wasp_rainbowarrior on Tue Feb 28, 2017 3:50 am
many people may not know, but i'm brazilian and here we celebrate carnaval like crazy. i've been partying for 3 days and there's more tomorrow. i haven't feel any sex compulsions. i did feel like having...

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So We Meet Again by CKinPA on Mon Feb 27, 2017 9:34 pm
Last week for the very first time I went to a therapist and upon returning home I was trying to figure out why she seemed familiar to me. Then from the depths of my long term memory reserves the memory...

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Where I am today by Junferfrizz2 on Mon Feb 27, 2017 7:19 pm
I'm bipolar and I've recently become 'friends' with someone who displays the behaviour of borderline personality disorder. I felt like I chose him, I mean I pursued him. I was attracted to him before he...

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My mother dies in the hospital! by OMNICELL on Mon Feb 27, 2017 7:14 pm
So, out of nowhere; a sociopathic sadistic brother; a combination of both parents! knocks on my apartment door!

God was sending someone! strange people have been showing up lately!

He's drunk;...

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Re: Help - is this avoidant pd, social anxiety, or something else? by Ada on Tue Feb 28, 2017 5:16 pm
Welcome to the forum, Trafmt. :) Things sound very difficult for you at the moment. Like you say, draining! Maybe...

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Re: bipolar disorder? by quietgirl2538 on Tue Feb 28, 2017 1:04 pm
You're welcome! I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner. I must not have my settings where I get notifications of replies to blogs. So I didn't get this notification.

Yes, it's easy to google and find their...

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Re: bipolar disorder? by wasp_rainbowarrior on Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:41 pm
thank you so much! i could find their website on google, so it wont be necessary that you pm me it. i'm liking them so much that i'm actually thinking about gathering a reading club with some friends....

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Re: Here I Am ... by Snaga on Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:04 am
Interesting post! And what a coincidence!!!

I was planning on asking you about that statement in your forum post- I was reminded of a blog entry I'd made a long time ago, speculation on past lives. I...

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Re: bipolar disorder? by quietgirl2538 on Sat Feb 25, 2017 3:00 pm
I always highly recommend 'Born Only Once'. The one I am currently reading is a more recent one called 'I will give them a new heart' Reflections on the Priesthood and the Renewal of the Church By Conrad...

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