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Be careful what you ask for by Koshka69 on Mon Aug 15, 2011 11:01 pm
Hola, all.
Been off the forum for a while... classes and life are getting away from me lately, so I'm in a mad storm of academics and paperwork.

So I was at the pool over the weekend. Laid there with my eyes closed and got totally triggered over a man and his son playing in the pool. Back came the flood of my love disappearing into his PTSD. As I laid there and thought of him I got really frustrated. Mad almost. I asked god why, even though I am doing so well, I have to think of my ex beau CONSTANTLY. I've dealt with all the feelings, processed them all, moved on... yet still think of him. It drives me INSANE. So I asked god to please give me something... anything... to think of because I'm SICK TO DEATH of thinking of the ex.

Long about 2 days ago, the prayer got answered.

My life, I swear, is god's comic strip... when he gets bored he runs a plot twist to amuse himself.

I was on the phone with a dear guy friend of mine (the one I mentioned earlier... he lives in Florida and we've been friends for about 20 years). So we were discussing the logistics and other things about my move to Florida. Then he flattened me with something I NEVER saw coming. He said that if he could go back in time and have us be together, he would. He said that when he thinks about me coming to Florida, he thinks of the possibilities. WHAAAAAAA? A little background on him.... 20 years ago we were stationed in England together and were best of friends. One of the very very few true intellectual equals (that's not me being snobby... it's me describing that we match incredibly on an intellectual level). We were off and on attracted to each other, but wires were always crossed... either he liked me when I was dating someone or I liked him when he was dating someone. Never panned out. I ended up getting married while in England, and he ended up standing in for my father and walking me down the aisle and "giving me away" at my wedding. We've kept in touch off and on over the last 20 years... friendship always strong. In 2003 he married and started divorce proceedings last Mar (his wife left him). Now, don't think he's the kind of guy for rebounds... actually he is the only human I know who seems capable of NOT dating on the rebound. He just has very deep friendships... and I happen to be one of them. So his revelation about knocked me on my ass. I told him that I was NOT running to Florida to date him or have him as my primary reason for moving... it's absolutely about me moving closer to friends and finishing my education. He understands that. But still, I'm totally floored that he still holds feelings for me after all these years. I swear, he and I could have hours and hours of fun with a paper bag... that's seriously just us. Never lacking for conversation, good times, enjoying each others company and so on. I'm THRILLED at the prospect of us hanging out a lot... and he is too (even though he lives 8 hours from where I am moving to).

Don't know what the point of this story is. Guess I'm still shell shocked from it all. I go through this big tornado of poo with my ex beau and his ptsd... and then this friend way-lays me with feelings. And irony.... we're (me, the ex beau, the friend, and both their ex/soon to be ex) all in the same circles... all of us know each other from the military. Gawwwwwd. The ex beau would flip a wig if he heard this latest news... he'd run to my door with roses and a ring trying to win me back (I know him too well... he thrives on adrenaline and chases). So I'm keeping it a secret because if he did that, I'd really want to just slap the sh*& out of him.

How is it that I can try like hell to keep my life drama free and my life still plays out like a sitcom?

Ah, at least my life's not boring, I suppose :shock:

-Koshka

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Hello! Pursuing a dream! by Mayberry on Sun Sep 25, 2016 10:17 pm
Hello! I am mayberry!
Today, i decided to join this forum because for a while my dream was to become a psychologist. However, I've never had friends or anyone who's dream was similar to mine and I don't...

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Sunday 25 September by Just Jeff on Sun Sep 25, 2016 12:10 pm
Resolve rating 100%

Had a really positive day so far tackling my to do list which is making me feel good. I am not getting many comments on this blog, although people do at least seem to be viewing it....

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Sat 24 September by Just Jeff on Sat Sep 24, 2016 4:10 pm
Resolve Rating 100%

I didn’t make an entry in this yesterday which is really bad. I did have a sober day yesterday and another sober day today though. I was busy yesterday, and have been busy recently w...

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09/23/2016 by lime_mint_girl on Sat Sep 24, 2016 12:10 am
I needed a place to breath. I should be working not communicating with others. It's true, why am I talking to strangers again? I'll most likely will be wrong again. I just wanted better treatment or company....

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annoyed by jody on Fri Sep 23, 2016 6:18 pm
my solicitor told me that what the police did was supposed to intimidate me.to put the frighteners on me after they failed to make a sexual risk order stick and couldnt keep me tagged.i dont like that,i...

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Re: HOCD or bisexual? by Snaga on Mon Sep 26, 2016 1:21 pm
At the ages you have mentioned, you're still finding out who and what you are- the best thing is to not be anxious about it. If you don't at all like being with another girl, you don't! And if you feel...

[ Continued ]

Re: Im pregnant, keep being dumped. Is this abuse? by Snaga on Mon Sep 26, 2016 12:23 pm
Being the blogs, you'l get few, if any, input, sweetie. You might try posting in the Relationship forum...

RE: Coward by lime_mint_girl on Fri Sep 23, 2016 6:16 pm
<3

Re: Shy or avoidance disorder? by Musa_1204 on Tue Sep 20, 2016 9:08 pm
Thank you! I am new here and still trying to figure out how to post on different sectiona:-/

Re: Shy or avoidance disorder? by Snaga on Tue Sep 20, 2016 7:19 pm
You might do well to try posting in the Significant Others, Friends and Family forum. The blog section is not likely to get many respondents.

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