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A general inventory of where I'm at...
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The Phase serious is about 2 things; Performing and creating my own music and a girlfriend.
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1. Getting my interest in the Arts underway or corrected or aligned to a point of productivity in the studio and finished products of different levels out into the world... That means Art pieces and performing my music creations live; that is the goal; to create and produce creative products sending them out into the world where I perform them or hang them in gallery somewhere; That is the goal. To create music; perform it live. And to get a girlfriend...
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2. Relationships; The goal of a girlfriend.
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A: Im much closer; I have a better understanding. A girlfriend means many things; it means my personality is back into a healthy state and I feel fairly good inside and good about myself... It means; I've looked at all the blocks holding me back from society from the past and I've worked through most or all the walls to a point. And most have been worked through thoroughly; not all.. Im more ( back-in-the-present);
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A Girlfriend represents; a symbol to me; To have a girlfriend means; I'm back in society again; Iv made it; I have a certain percentage of functionality in society... Im able to function in society; Look; I have a girlfriend! ; Im able to (basic-roam... Be out and about in the city) Im able to establish a relationship; or attempt to and keep at it with a plan to have intimacy. Im able to work with God and create and manifest what I want; down Gods Pathway... Im able to understand that I ATTRACT. What I want manifests down the God Pathway; It appears.. I attract it. The key is; I have to be mature enough for it or at its frequency. I have to believe. I have to believe I already have it... Overcoming doubt..: And a way exists on how to overcome doubt.
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B: The second half of Girlfriend is; Understanding exactly what i'm going after; ( what kind of women am I interested in; what kind of attributes does she have).
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Aslo; its the understanding of my history of girlfriend and attempted girlfriends and what went wrong... I want to learn from history and not repeat it again. I want to handle it differently then before and handle it not alone; Im going to have major support help...
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C: Attracting and going after someone new and all it entails:
I understand from the past I was looking for a (friend Within a girlfriend); And that friend I would develop into a best friend and soulmate and make into a wife; GOd willing! This means I change into what I need to change into: the frequency of whom Im looking for as I attract her. This means learning how to attract sufficiently enough to manifest her. But who is ( Her); I might have a new idea of (Her); vs the old way of doing things from the past; How I met women. I think new women that I attract are going to be the opposite of what I was attracting when young. The women of old I attracted were based on looks and popularity. The new women Im interested are value for their introverted intellectualism; Library girls.
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When young; I was attracting women that wanted to manipulate men to get what they wanted. They did not want a man as a friend; they wanted a man as a status figure head that was a supplier for large family wealthy formations. These women did not care about friendship or getting involved personally; they had no interest in being friends with people or the man they married. THey were a type of tribe of mean people that hung around mean people. I made the mistake of thinking that deep down they must have been lonely sensitive Throw Aways that were never appreciated or loved. I thought I would find a Gem within their hearts that if I could discover it; they would be flawlessly dedicated to me for the rest of their lives because I discovered them; and thus; seeing my worth; they would always appreciate me and never leave me. However;...

[ Continued ]