yesterday i hit rock bottom in my cyber sex habits. showed my self to this guy and after it i immediately became digusted with myself. while for the past days all i could think about was cyber sex, today i didn't think about it at all. i guess i shut down or something.

last night i dreamed that my house had some secret passage which you gotten through and then you ended up on an identical house, but filled with empty being. i think i might have had this dream before, because i knew everything that was going to happen. in the dream, i would go, take a look at the evil beings, and then run away and shut the passage, because i thought "that's what i usually do", but instead i got lost in the way and didn't know where i was. the evil beings might come at any moment. then i forced myself to wake up (i knew it was a dream).

i think the dream was about that darker side of myself that i hide from everyone and that was running out of control. somehow, i think that the dream somehow cured me, at least for some time. it's not the first time that i notice sudden radical change in my behavior following an impactant dream. i guess the subconscious knows its ways.