the demon hiding underneath the smoke

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wasp_rainbowarrior: Consumer 4; Posts: 92; Joined: Sun Sep 08, 2013 1:48 am; Blog: View Blog (79)

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the demon hiding underneath the smoke

by wasp_rainbowarrior on Thu Jan 12, 2017 6:20 pm

even when i'm not sexually aroused or into the "sex dreaming" state, sometimes i can feel it's lurking beneath my consciousness. yesterday i had a relapse. today, even though i'm not aroused or anything, i feel like i'm uncapable of doing anything until i finish what i began yesterday. almost as if a demon was forcing me into a standby state until i do what he wants me to. not this time, satan. i feel compelled to enter a sex chat, but today i won't give in. my sex haze from yesterday led me not to shower (i think daily showering is one of the biggest indicators for my well being). i'm going to shower now and try to do something useful out of my life. i'm keeping this blog as a register for what i do, think and feel. i tend to be very forgetful about these things.

you see me trying to climb on this pole, but i'm just hiding the pain that's deep in my soul.

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