I work and sleep and that's about it until the weekends and not quite always then i'm told, so... yeah. Of course you're not adding to my stress no worries there, I just dont have time or neurons during the week to do much in forums.

In that case, it sounds like you have enough on your mind already. I’d hate to add to your stress. Thank you for your input though. You’re always a great help.

Ideas- forgive my obtuseness I'm at a new job (for the first time in a long while) and well, a bit overwhelmed at the moment. Ideas to deal with this lingering feeling of shame, or guilt? I'll cogitate on it I'm really not sure.

If you have any proposed ideas, I'd be more than happy to receive them. You've proven very wise and insightful the whole time I've been on this site.

Well. For me, feelings most akin to 'shame' are more along the lines of my sexuality, which may or may not have been affected by having had a man's hand down my britches. In the moment, and the aftermath of the aborted grooming I was pretty conflicted and frightened and anxious that I wanted more. And perhaps felt some shame. But lasting, deep shame? No. My circumstances were very different. I wish that you could have a more detached mindset about it, but I mean, given the circumstances it's very understandable that you have the feelings you do. As with the (sort of?) asexuality, it irritates me on your behalf that you feel shame.

I don't know. I don't know if there's a right or wrong response to have. I've known (just casually, online) a young woman who was used by her father sexually and she didn't feel shame that was obvious to me- and last I knew, still would have sex with him on occasion. She understood that it wasn't the normal family model, but was completely groomed into it, I suppose. She saw it as normal for her, even as she intellectually understood 'this is not normal'. of course I was non-judgmental- who am I to judge? She was okay with it and loved her dad- but I was.. more than irritated on her behalf, though she didn't see a need for anyone to be. I just kept it to myself.
I'll... leave it to you, to decide which outcome is the less desirable. I'm not sure I can make a judgement on this sort of thing. Seems to me a balanced life post-incest is somewhere in between your outcome and hers. But I'm just rambling, at this point.