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ghosty
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Why Universe....

Permanent Linkby ghosty on Mon Mar 30, 2015 8:18 pm

Having a cat with serious health problems and having serious anxiety problems does not mix very well.

I am losing my mind and I hate myself right now and I am filled with so much guilt and shame and anger and sadness

I don't even know what to do with myself

I just keep thinking... this is all my fault..
I screwed up somewhere
I didn't pet him the right amount of times... too many times I zoned out while petting him and lost count.
I didn't ask the vets the right questions. I didn't explain things well enough.
I've missed something. I've messed up somewhere.
This is all my fault.

This is all my fault and I'll never forgive myself

and all of these feelings are very not good

and i have surgery in a week

and I'm a complete mess.

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Re: Why Universe....

Permanent Linkby Ada on Mon Mar 30, 2015 8:41 pm

This isn't your fault. Not in any way.

Cats can't count. The number of times you petted him seems to me like it could be an OCD thing? It doesn't link to reality, just to anxiety. I understand that doesn't really help. But it's not a cause here.

And asking the vet the right questions doesn't change anything either. You're a responsible cat carer for taking him to the vet at all. It's the vet's job to ask lots of questions. And to get all the tests to back up what they suspect. Again, it isn't down to you. You've done your part and the vet is doing theirs. The health problems are not your fault.


It's an awful thing to say. Because this might just be me, and not you at all. But if it were me. Worrying about my cat is how I'd push down worry about my own health things. I don't mean that you don't really care about your cat. Because it's very obvious you do. And that focus is not a bad thing. Just perhaps if it's true for you. Then looking for ways to be kind to BOTH of you. Might be a way through all these horrible feelings right now.
We think too much and feel too little.
 More than machinery, we need humanity.
 More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.


Charlie Chaplain in The Great Dictator
Ada
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Re: Why Universe....

Permanent Linkby ghosty on Mon Mar 30, 2015 9:37 pm

Sure, right. You're right. My cat may be dying and this is all about me.
ghosty
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Re: Why Universe....

Permanent Linkby Ada on Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:16 pm

No, your cat's health issues are real. I'm just talking about one way to explore your feelings about them. And as I said. This might just be how I approach things and nothing you relate to at all.

I hope you both do well, though.
We think too much and feel too little.
 More than machinery, we need humanity.
 More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.


Charlie Chaplain in The Great Dictator
Ada
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Posts: 10623
Joined: Mon May 28, 2012 9:47 pm
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