My name is Howard (well not really but here it is) and I am an exclusive Pedophile which if you don't know means that I am attracted exclusively to just young children. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. Unlike what people think or say about pedophiles I am not socially retarded and can have normal conversations with adults and get along great with normal adult conversations and relationships. The only way that I am different from majority of society is that I prefer children over adults sexually.
I have served time for my acts against children and I served 10 years in prison for multiple crimes against children, mostly young boys and a few young girls as well. I am not proud of the actions that I had done against children but they did happen and I have learned from them. I am not perfect in any sort of way and I honestly I don't feel like I am a victim either like most professionals say that child molesters are. I have accepted the fact that I am a child sex offender and that I will be hated by people in society for the rest of my life and I accept that.
My sexuality didn't change when I was in prison, I was still attracted to children when I was inside and I am still attracted to children now and maybe more than I was before I went to prison. My parents and my family all know that I am a Pedophile and some have accepted it and some havent because I have hurt some children in my family as well. I honestly feel like I was born this way and I feel guilty for the children that I have hurt sexually but I don't feel guilty about being a pedophile anymore, its just who and what I am.
I struggle every single day in society and sometimes I wish that I was back in prison. I felt like I was pretty lucky in prison because I was put in general pop for the first two years and people found out what I did and I was raped and stabbed and so many other things that is expected when you are someone that is lower than $#%^ in prison. Then the rest of my time I was put in a child sex offender unit where I got some therapy and we had group settings where people would talk about there crimes and get everything out.
The group sessions were very hard for me because when I would hear about what other men did to children I would get extremely aroused about it and found it very erotic. We weren't allowed toi have a cellmate in the unit because they didn't want us sharing our crimes with other sex offenders and masturbating about it even though I masturbated about everything that had to do with children all the time.
I would say that out of all the inmates in that unit that perhaps only 20% were true pedophiles and I was one of 6 that were perhaps exclusive pedophiles. I have never had sexual relations with other adults or my own peers except for being raped while I was in prison when I really didn't have a choice in the matter. Well anyway I will talk more about my experiences in other posts, just wanted to do a basic intro