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- February 2017
   Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:15 pm
Rough Day.
   Fri Feb 10, 2017 2:04 am

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Permanent Linkby AmandaBroken on Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:15 pm

I can not say I did not see this coming. The church I go to is very conservative. Members at one time would only allow or prefer, the men to be in suits and the women in dresses. Now things are different, men wear jeans and women pants. Although some women wear yoga pants and leggings, or tights. Some women cover up their butts by wearing long shirts, some do not. Sometimes I find myself looking at them more than I should.

When my parents were alive I always wore dresses, but after they passed away I started to wear skinny jeans, tights, short shorts, tank tops with no bra, and lots of piercings, makeup, and other stuff. The staff at the church were always telling me this was wrong but I never listened. The followed the biblical form of discipline, first, they tried to counsel me. Then they tried having me meet with 2 or 3 elders. After a while, they made an announcement in the church that I was no longer a member but I could attend if I would tone down my clothes. But I just could not do this. I liked my clothes, I was constantly buying new clothes, hot stuff and was always visiting the store "Hot Topics."

Well, they have taken the final step. They sent an email stating I was excommunicated. That I was no longer welcomed in the church. They also instructed people from the church to shun me in the hopes this would drive me to repentance. I'm kinda in shock. Not sure what to do, besides cutting. Sadly I must say I did this last night before going to bed. I just could not calm down. It's easy to say go someplace else, but where. I was born into this church it has been a part of my life now for just over 21 years. Saying I'm heart broken just doesn't say enough.

Until you're broken, you don't know what you're made of.
It gives you the ability to build yourself all over again,
but stronger than ever.
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Re: Excommunicated

Permanent Linkby whighthart48 on Tue Feb 14, 2017 1:14 am

I know how you feel having a place in your life that you feel safe suddenly being taken from you. My mom was recently arrested and my dad has never been a part of my life. So I live with my grandparents my whole life i felt like i could trust them but recently I have been getting this feeling that my home doesn't feel like home to me anymore. But I am lucky to know I have at least two people that are still by my side.
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Re: Excommunicated

Permanent Linkby quietgirl2538 on Thu Feb 16, 2017 2:09 am

AmandaBroken, you have a beautiful heart and soul. Try to see that truth and not the bad treatment you are receiving. Being excommunicated doesn't feel good at all, I can see how you can be in pain. But it's going to be alright. I truly believe that. Hugs if wanted.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

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Re: Excommunicated

Permanent Linkby morosenurse on Thu Mar 09, 2017 3:10 am


Those people do not define you. In the long run, you will be better off without such exclusive hypocrites in your life.

Do you mind if I ask what type of church it was that did this to you?
“The floor seemed wonderfully solid. It was comforting to know I had fallen and could fall no farther.Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
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Re: Excommunicated

Permanent Linkby Snaga on Fri Mar 10, 2017 2:20 am

" I started to wear skinny jeans, tights, short shorts, tank tops with no bra, and lots of piercings, makeup, and other stuff. "

We talking about wearing those to church, or in general?
Tell someone you love them today, because Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, because Life is also terrifying and confusing.

ISFP. And a bunch of weirdness.

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Re: Excommunicated

Permanent Linkby Gimmeabreakman on Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:08 pm

Well, a good start of getting over would be dropping the primitive concept of religion and look for other forms of community. Doubt you went there for anything else.
Trust me, there are a lot that aren't half as uptight and are even fun. I mean, sending someone away because of how they dress. Sure, curves are the number one worry of Skydaddy.
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Re: Excommunicated

Permanent Linkby kall370 on Tue Mar 14, 2017 9:27 pm

That is the biblical practice of what to do when a believer sins against another (Mat 18:15.) It must of been some additional doctrine from the bible for the grounds of the supposed "sin." Unless the clothing itself had some written statement in blastphemy IDK what would be considered 'normal' grounds for church attire. It sounds like they used that practice improperly in an abusive form to make you change and took a controlling stance upon how other church members and how they should relate to you. Christ calls for reconciliation, not alienation; there is nothing restorative about that. If you're still interested, I'm sure there are other churches that don't take such an abusive approach to handling some menial thing as clothing.
Take care,
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