My struggle has been with the days where I feel like I’m a balloon that’s had all its air let out. As helpful as it’s been to view my problems as challenges inspiring me to learn more about how my mind works, it’s had a dark side as well. I’ve felt like an idiot with no capacity to learn. I’ve felt like I’ve got a problem, and I’m not capable of the solutions. I’ve felt taunted by this perception of my own incapability. And yet, I’ve still be able to turn new corner after new corner as I’ve grown older. One of the big reasons why I’ve been able to succeed more and more as time goes on is one the same reasons many other troubled young people can as well. Here, I’m going to open your mind to a simple but profound reality of how our minds work. I’m going to tell you about the pre-frontal cortex and how its development is key to our ability to overcome our problems.

The pre-frontal cortex is the large section of our brain sitting just behind the piece of skull in our foreheads. It’s responsible for several key functions, like regulating thoughts, regulating feelings, and making decisions. Our pre-frontal cortex is the single biggest difference between our brains and the brains of animals. It allows us to be self-aware. It allows us to think about thoughts and the thoughts of others. Most importantly for those of us seeking changes in our lives, it’s what allows us to override feelings of fear and hopelessness. With our pre-frontal cortex, we’re able to pursue those improvements we feel we so desperately need. It’s what we use when we’re able to say, “I don’t feel like doing this, but I should do it so I’m going to anyway.” Ultimately, it’s our will-power and what we use most to break through our own mental roadblocks.

If you’re like me and you’ve regularly read posts on this forum made by those asking for help, you may have noticed many people who come here are under the age of 25. You yourself might be below the age of 25. This is important to note because our pre-frontal cortexes are continually growing until we reach our mid-twenties. Part of why it’s so common for young people to come here and ask for help is simple. It’s because our pre-frontal cortexes haven’t fully developed. When we’re young, we’re attempting to carry many of the same burdens as adults do. However, when we’re young, we’re carrying those same burdens without the fully developed pre-frontal cortex that makes them much easier to haul. Before our mind fully develops, we’re attempting to carry burdens with a weaker mental muscle.

Although you may have very different psychological problems than myself, you may be inspired by the same realizations I am. What I like most is genuinely feeling most of the coming days will be better than the days before. Today, as a 29-year-old, that’s usually how I feel. For those of you under the age of 25, I hope you’ll take away one major idea from learning about your pre-frontal cortex. As hard as life can be now, it’s going to get easier if for no other reason than your pre-frontal cortex will be continuing to grow. Your future will be brighter than the past because the part of your brain you use to address these challenges is only going to get stronger. As hard as it can be to say, “I don’t feel like doing this, but I should so I’m going to do it anyway,” it’s going to get easier. On the days where we don’t experience obvious improvements, we can remind ourselves of a simple truth. When we’re young, we’re making progress even when we simply survive another day.

I keep having to sign in and I keep losing my entries.

I guess that I am not really supposed to say anything else today.

I feel slighly better now--slightly calmer.

I no longer try to understand my work situation or the people that I work with.

I honestly feel that people try to start mess and they try to make sure that the mess is carried on and on.

I am still feeling dizzy.

But anyway, I won't put anything else--I just like writing in my blog.

I just need a place to vent and what better place than my own blog, so I don't constantly bring this up in other threads. I just need to write it all out.

In September of 2015 I was put on Zyprexa after a gnarly manic episode that landed me in the hospital. Little did I know about the nasty side effect that came with it- excessive weight gain. In just 3 months I gained 20 lbs. I was taken off of it in December 2015. Then I started Invega, then later, Invega Sustenna. This medication made me lactate and my prolactin went through the roof, making me gain an additional 10 lbs. So I stopped that and started on Saphris which led to a deep depression with suicidal ideation and self harming and I was sent back to the hospital where my meds were changed to Depakote. Then I started getting really gnarly vertigo which landed me in the hospital again. After a 5 day stay with visits from a psychiatrist, we decided on Latuda. My NP agreed this would be a good med for me (it was on my DNA test profile thingy) because it doesn't cause weight gain.

Well, here we are, one year later, and I still haven't lost the weight. In January 2016 I started a strict diet and frequent gym visits. I was able to maintain my weight, but wasn't losing. Then I couldn't afford the gym fees anymore and had to stop going. I maintained healthy eating and still didn't lose. In October I began a really strict detox diet. No luck. In fact, I think I gained more weight. And just recently I started a strict 1200 calorie diet. It's too soon to see results from this, if I even get any. According to many online diet calculators, I should lose this extra 30 lbs. by June 2017. And that's without exercise. I read many success stories of people losing significant amounts of weight just by eating less and not working out. I really hope this will work for me.

Sometimes I feel ridiculous for this bothering me so much. It's only 30 lbs., right? But I have always had low self-esteem and body issues. No matter what I weigh, or how I look, I always think I look bad. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I hate the way I feel. I've lost all confidence and my clothes don't fit and I don't have money to buy new clothes. My new meds are working great, but I know that if I lost this weight I'd be so much happier. I hate going out because I hate how I look. I'd rather be inside wearing leggings and T-shirts rather than having to put jeans on.

I feel like I'm going to develop an eating disorder. I eat very little and I get mad when I get hungry. I think food is evil and will only get me fatter. I constantly call myself fat. I obsess about my weight all the time. I count every single calorie. I get upset with myself if I go over 1200. I don't want to talk to my NP about this, but I'm going to ask her if she can put me on a dietary supplement, since my PCP won't prescribe me a diet pill. I've been taking L-Carnitine, as told by my NP to lower the prolactin, but also as a fat burning supplement.

Bottom line: I have tried everything and nothing is working. For a year, I have been trying. And what really bugs me is that last summer, I lost 15 lbs. without trying. And two years before that I lost 10 lbs. just by eating less. And all of a sudden I can't lose anything. I think the Zyprexa severely messed up my metabolism. My PCP even said that's what it is. And I suppose there's really nothing I can do about it. But I'm going to keep trying, and hopefully by the summer and I can write another blog about how I lost the weight.

part 1
from the active palette flow graphed object cache you render 2 I frames and 6-10 mid frames integrated with fast response on the i frames.
so from this you do your main frame and sub frame partial render. this means more fps for less effort offering a 4x speed up.
Part 2
you use AI to complete the base render so that you end up with a complete fast rendered mixed resolution image you do this at upto 900p.
part 3
you also calculate some extra upscaling information upto 1280p and upscale with more effort relative to data flow a good quality upscale.
part 4
you upscale with less effort from 1280p to 1640p
part 5
you use a more quicker basic upscaler to up scale it to 4k
part 3-5 is half as fast as the standard upscaling technique but could be balanced better with the fast base rendering
Concentrating the effort better gets you that extra bit of crispness and smooth crisp motion and flow making the PS5 more competitive with PC.
overall this should provide a better 4k experience at more fps on the xbox series x and ps5.
PS6 speculation
with 60 Tflops on 1.2nm Gate all around architecture and 300Tflop optical inference, 64GB High Speed Ram and in a smaller lower watt package than the ps5, with up to 128 TB m2 ssd, Games will easily be 6 to 24 TB to download by the time the PS6 is older. This will be the console that had true life like real world physics and photo real graphics. At this point cinematic level fx will no longer be at the level of a mini super computer but in a smaller than usual console due to faster switching and the addition of optical AI inferencing.
the object palette flow cache will be more key data based and of far higher clarity than the ps5 and the rendering into 4K with 6k upscaling data then quickly upscaled to 8k 144hz at real life looking and behaving level.
why would you need a PS7 and after the PS 6 will come more portable lower watt variants at this level of computation until your phone on a 0.4nm process node and even faster switching and efficiency plus verticalization and optical computing will achieve all this with a better screen and lower watts than todays phones so PS6 could be the end of the road where that level of gaming could become far more ubiquitous including lots of AI bot services and holographic computers that could run off that level of compute power.
If all humans are enabled by this then a realm of new intelligence and artistic development age could emerge with some very high clarity digitisation. if power over this technology is in fewer hands then more dependent consumers could drive a lesser market.

PERSON 1 Says: Every time I've encountered This Situation, utilizing METHOD A brought me desirable results and METHOD B had negative results/was inaffective.

PERSON 2 Says: Well every time I'VE encountered This Situation, utilizing METHOD B brought me desirable results and METHOD A had negative results/was inaffective.

A smart person would conclude: Okay. So neither method is universally fail-safe, and as two reasonable adults, we should be able to agree on that and stop preaching that either method is superior to the other.

A STUPID DICK would conclude: One of us must be right and the other must be wrong. So let's agree to disagree as I continue advocating that my method is superior.

Idiots.