Rosie Bunny died earlier today and I laid her to rest. I am really sad but she is peaceful at least. Thank you for being so supportive.

Cracked

Never have sex whilst wearing a Holter monitor or you are liable to be discussed in a lecture theatre full of students.

Always throw away dirty bong water

Never inhale cigar smoke

How to say phaeochromocytoma

Never stare at the forehead of someone who has a weird looking forehead, esp if they are in a position of power over you

Never park in the Dean's parking space

Be careful of rape alarms in lecture theatres

Never drink more than one drink containing 5 shots

Never trust rugby players

Never drink and ski

Never bite your other half's tongue whilst trying to be romantic

Never ever volunteer the fact you are a med student

Never be late for lectures led by mean lecturers when there is no back entrance to your lecture theatre

Always look for things about your lecturers that you can parody at the Revue

Treasure the diamond tutors

Hugs all

Cracked

is doing my head in tho I end up feelingn guilty for her being mean to me. There some warped thinking going on me thinks. She is so invlaidating of me too because I am no longer her professional daughter but this mad person whilst the rest of the family are getting on with making everyone proud.

I am grateful for her but she does bug me and I am resorting to codeine and alcohol to sort the buggingness out.

Not too helpful really.

Wishing you all a very very happy christmas wherever you may be and I hope you have a peaceful 2012 too.

Huge hugs

Cracked

I started having violent thoughts when I was quite young. I use to draw pictures of naked and semi naked women being mauled to death by wolves. I remember one of my babysitters being very concerned over the pictures. She never babysat us again after that.

As a child I was fascinated by death or rather, the process of dying. I liked watching things die. I can't explain why, but it still fascinates me to this day. When I was young I started killing insects in different ways so I could watch them die. This led to hurting and killing animals as I got older. As a teenager, having been raised around violence and abuse, I began having violent fantasies towards my family.

I experienced my first homicidal urge 24 years ago, at the age of 16. I wanted to tie my family up in the lounge room and burn the house down with them in it. The house actually did catch fire sometime after I had left home. Everybody who was in it at the time survived though.

At some point I started fantasizing about shooting my mother's boyfriend's mother because she was a real bitch. I had access to a gun, so I wrote her name on one of the bullets. My mother, who had come over to see me that day for some reason (I had already left home at that stage), found the bullet, but didn't get angry at me over it. She hated the woman as much as I did. So, I doubt she would have cared if I had killed her. Fortunately for the woman, I didn't end up killing her.

As I got older, my interest in murder became more than just seeking a means to an end. My attention turned to attractive strangers. The murder fantasies became intertwined with my sexual fantasies and the anger I experienced while growing up. The beast within grew a hunger for power, control and hedonistic desire.

For 24 years now I've been experiencing homicidal fantasies and urges to kill. When the urges get real bad they're harder to control. Controlling them becomes literally tormenting to the point where I feel like I'm going to lose my mind if I don't find some release. Anger and aggression builds up like a ticking time bomb.

Sometimes I feel like I've been cursed and I wish that I didn't experience these homicidal urges at all. The fantasies themselves aren't really the problem. I enjoy having them, but the fantasy is only satisfying to a point. I have more than a desire to kill people these days. It has become what feels like a compulsive need.

I feel like I'm on a path to self-destruction. Everything that used to work as a release, doesn't work anymore. There's a part of me that wants to stop wanting to kill people because I know that it could end very badly for me. I just wish I could satisfy my urges in a way that won't involve the possibility of life in prison.

A while back i wrote a post about the idiocy of the ongoing Fat is Bad craze. You can find it here, http://petrossa.wordpress.com/2010/04/16/the-disease-fat-does-not-exist/ it's too long to post here.

What's interesting are the latest findings from the Erasmus University in the Netherlands:

Genetic Study Shows That Low Body Fat May Not Lower Risk for Heart Disease and Diabetes

Having a lower percentage of body fat may not always lower your risk for heart disease and diabetes, according to a study by an international consortium of investigators, including two scientists from the Institute for Aging Research of Hebrew SeniorLife, an affiliate of Harvard Medical School (HMS).

The Institute researchers, Douglas P. Kiel, M.D., M.P.H., and David Karasik, Ph.D., who are working with the Framingham Heart Study, identified a gene that is linked with having less body fat, but also with an increased risk of type 2 diabetes and heart disease, examples of so-called "metabolic diseases."

"We've uncovered a truly fascinating genetic story and, when we found the effect of this gene, we were very intrigued by the unexpected finding," says Dr. Kiel, a senior scientist at the Institute for Aging Research and a professor of medicine at HMS. "People, particularly men, with a specific form of the gene are both more likely to have lower percent body fat, but also to develop heart disease and type 2 diabetes. In simple terms, it is not only overweight individuals who can be predisposed for these metabolic diseases."

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/06/110626145303.htm

Since i said as much in my article 2 years ago i'm mighty chuffed.