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Diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder by Knoxious on Wed Jan 10, 2018 7:56 pm
My PhD therapist has recently told me that she will be diagnosing me with AsPD, after 4 months of court-ordered therapy.

The court by now knows that i'm a sociopath, so i took this opportunity to open up fully to my therapist, and get her feedback. I very much value feedback, as knowing where people's heads are at is great when seeking control over other people. You need to know how to micromanage your facial expressions, tones, word-crafting, etc and make it so it's in agreeance with your opponent's perception of you.

Anyway, the question now becomes, am i a sociopath or a psychopath? My therapist even opened up in telling me that she was wondering the same thing. Her main reasons for thinking i could be a psychopath are a) i "play different roles like Ted Bundy" by compartmentalizing, b) i have a legitimate flat affect, and c) i am charming and very high functioning (Graduated college, tested 122 on the IQ test administered by her, and had a stable job even though i've been to prison twice). But she also says she has no idea, because i am so damn contradictory. So this is something i may never find out, unless i go to a forensic outpatient clinic that she recommended to me where a world renowned author on criminal psychopathy practices. I do not plan on spending $1000 out of pocket for the assessment, so here we are.

9 Comments Viewed 65250 times
verbal vomit by Hepzibah Pynchon on Mon Oct 05, 2015 1:19 pm
Never have "blogged" before and must confess I'm not sure what a blog is. The word "blog," to me, sounds like the noise someone makes when they puke. So I'm going to treat my blog as just that: verbal vomit.

I'm a 55 year old woman who lives in the great Pacific Northwest of the US. Live by myself - I mean really by myself. Believe I have avoidant personality disorder - dammit. And depression of course, kind of goes along with it I guess. Here's an example of how alone I really am...

So I was doing some volunteer work, cleaning houses for the elderly. They asked if I could take on another client temporarily after she had some minor surgery. Sure, no problem. So I go out to this lady's house. Turns out she lives in a hermitage (honest-to-god hermitage, she is a nun and a real hermit). Lovely woman. Great job if you can get it, right? They provide her with a beautiful little secluded house in the country.

About the second time I go to clean I began to notice something. This lady gets more phone calls than I ever do. And emails. And visitors. Not a lot by any stretch of the imagination - but more than me. And she's a hermit.

Gosh, she invited me for dinner one evening and during our conversation she asked me about myself and what I do when I'm not doing volunteer work. Her being a nun and a hermit I felt comfortable in telling her how quietly I live, how I have no family that I'm in touch with, only one friend, etc. How I can go weeks without any conversation, other than "thanks, have a nice day." I even came right out and told her that she gets more human contact than me!

The loneliness is what's killing me at the moment. Makes it harder to deal with depressive tendencies - really thought I had a handle on that. But my usual fixes of exercise and activity aren't working as well lately. So please, if anyone should happen to read this, help a person out and leave a comment, would you please? Just a little human contact? At least a "Thank you, have a nice day!"

9 Comments Viewed 20930 times
I'm Back :) by CrackedGirl on Wed Oct 10, 2012 11:41 am
Hi guys

I had to stop writing my blog for some reasons I cant discuss in detail tho I would like to if/when I can do so. But I decided I am not going to have my life dictated to me re what I can and cant post on the internet. It is my life and I believe in freedom of speech. So I decided to start up my blog again - I have missed randomly talking about silly things interspersed with a bit of whingeing :mrgreen: So here goes and if anyone has anything to say about the fact I am blogging or my blog content frankly they can swivel as I can write what I want to as long as it is not hurting myself or others. So here I am and it is good to be back.

Hugs all

Cracked

8 Comments Viewed 593276 times
Job by CrackedGirl on Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:13 am
I got the job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Huge hugs

Cracked

8 Comments Viewed 531826 times
My Top 10 Girlie Favourites by CrackedGirl on Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:01 pm
I decided to blog about something nice today and what better than being deliciously shallow and talking about the products that bring me joy :mrgreen: So here are my top 10 products I like to use.

1. Body Shop mango body butter - this is gorgeous and the smell makes me want to eat it all up - nom. Really good for itchy scars too as very soothing.

2. L'Occitaine lipstick number 3 - gives a slightly rose coloured tint to your lips and smells of raspberries.

3. MAC Old Gold pigment - two tone eye pigment that has green and gold in it and it absolutely gorgeous - plus lasts forever.

4. Dove bubble bath - smells gorgeous - I love the smell of Dove stuff and it is really moisturising too. Plus I keep finding it on sale for a pound :mrgreen:

5. MAC Mascara X - the best mascara I have ever found. Non clumpy but get full lashes and smells nice too.

6. Dumb Blonde smoothing cream - has sparkle in it and makes your hari lovely and soft - also smells of raspberries and is a really nice treat for your hair.

7. Radox Africa shower gel with roiboss in it. A different take on green tea - really refreshing and moisturising too.

8. Sure pink deodorant - I have used this since school and still think it is the best deodorant that there is.

9. Givenchy Very Irresistable perfume - my signature perfume

10. Versace Crystal - my other signature scent :mrgreen:

It is nice to treat ourselves. We deserve nice things. What are your favourite products?

Hope you are all well

Huge hugs

Cracked

8 Comments Viewed 138371 times

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