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Acceptance by UwillneverknowU on Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:51 pm
Acceptance, take it, use it, move forward. We're always putting band-aids on everything in our lives, everything has a answer that we paste on each of our problems/awaiting using our best knowledge (of the life that we been following/pursuing, accepted as are "own" as a individual that has been put together by everything and everybody but them self's) to make sense or avoid the awaiting. The circle of our lives that has no ending, but how could there be a ending to soul that's lost, there for never stops suffering, has no peace, no true structure, the life that we serve for to be judged by society qualifications, our achievements that wore made possible by other peoples ruins, to build peoples dreams just to stay alive and have a name, even though we been giving the manual of our lives sense birth by our passed, to use it and make it our own, as people do use it but for curse of a reminder who they'll never be. In a world where the past, our beliefs, fears, failure's and people that we gave a space in our heart's to, doesn't matter if in the end was for the best or worse, has structured our lives till present day. The gifts such as our willpower and powerful energies that exists or preexisted that move us will be looked upon for our confused/eager/unfulfilled mind's will consume our well being. Aware or not of our energetic force field, by we having a FULL understanding of who we are, we uncovered elements to be therapeutic and nurturing to one self, there's no other guarantee in life than you being in control of your body, mind and spirit to use the tool to the fullest to achieve our destiny's and to leave our bodies for it's journey to reincarnate and to fulfilled there destinies. We have forgotten the cycle of life as we have become feared of death it self, not recognizing or unwilling to acknowledge the energy and spirit that accompanied us through our time here, out of selfish needs will keep them confined in elegant coffin's, expensive tombstone's, dressing our beloved memories to be looked away and feed from it, a dose to discharge them self's of all the negativity, disbelief, suffering, lonesomeness that has scared to a self inflicted burden. Why is death a reminder that one needs to change with in, why not build or lives brick by brick exactly how we want to be, if not as a child then later when we understand fully of our capacity and how much power we have over our lives, a file for every emotion, problem, unfinished goal et. your energy broken down BUT only so much can be released to each file, opining it, working on it and close it (even if not solved) don't let anything consume you, slowly monitoring your life under your control and a healthy manner. Finally take over of your life, don't let people make you who you are, not the good that comes your way so your life to be in order, but use the energy with in us, even bad energy, accepted, use it to point it at all the right directions and move forward, filter your mind, your best friend and worst enemy in life is always going to be yourself, nothing bad happens to us, nobody failed you, you failed your self. There's never any achievement EVER cause our hungry confused mind's always want more, more of the life you consider "success" like if there was happiness in the end of the road, you will walk to your deaf. Don't be scared to start over, to rejuvenate your way of thinking, why keep building on a foundation that's not truly you, everything will fall apart and will continue to fall till you find your self, to be one with your self and finally taking control of your life.

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AI designed to find useful numbers by highdimensionman on Mon Dec 21, 2020 7:49 pm
so say your solving some hard partial differential equations and you modeling it with a two brained neural net.
one in 10d weights between 1 and 0 and biases between 1 and 0
and the other neural net only 4 dimensional with weights as integers and some as real number with some quite high size. the biases being between 1 and 0.
The idea here is to fish out transcendental numbers and integers as part of some algorithm which help solve different partial differential equations and other maths problems.
You would need another AI to reengineer useful algorithms from recorded data of the numerical finds which help to find fast solutions by process data mining ability along with GPT 3 like interfacing as mathematicians need to play a role in finalizing and taking credit for any good finds.
a sort of kinda fishing.

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Next move forward... by OMNICELL on Sat Oct 14, 2023 9:35 pm
The bottom line. No Mother or Father from the first day born or growing up; nothing; no development...
This will go on until Im 9 years old and thrown completely away.... At that time Ill go into a severe shock and survival mode and never come out of it...
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So; here I am; I add my dream of the Disney land unicorn fantasy life; I got jolted and bolted; and it never happened; Now Im here; Now what! And their it is!
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Im working in recovery groups to get a grip on this and start over...
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Its not easy.
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Right Now; I understand that because I had no development from my mother and father; because of this; I desperately went out into the neighborhoods looking for other families to take me in. Unfortunately I allowed that to happened; the people that took me in were sociopathic and wanting to take advantage of me or use me right from the beginning; I never knew until it was 2 late.
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In other cases; I created fantasies around future girlfriends thinking they would be my best-friend and wife; Neither will happen; they turn out to be more criminal sociopathic spoiled and over privileged; and in some cases; signs of strong psychopathy... These are no type of individuals to even get close to; these are not the kinds of people to make relationship life choices on... And because I continued and continue to try to have relationships with the wrong people; I end up trying to hook up with people who are not attracted to me; dont love me and feel nothing for me... In all cases; they never come to me. I always find them and they never wanted me in the first place. This is a good sign God is not with me on these ventures... Im on my own when I venture allone into the wrong parts of the forest looking for love and acceptance.
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I was let down by all involved... I went to them to take the place of my mother and fathers development that never happened; I was looking to get developed by these new friends; new people. In the end; those sick weirdos were worse and just as unsafe as the parents. I was being played a fool by everyone.
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SO;
Here I am. A gap resides between where Im at right now and the starting gate of my new life; my new existence.
For this new existence to start; I have to build up through God and recovery process; a new foundation; a starting foundation in the real world; a place to start from.
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God will let me now what that starting procedure will look like; that starting information; that starting point; what I will be working with; what tools and concepts and how to start…
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I never grew at age 3-9; Ill be starting at ages 3-4-5-6 and so forth. I don’t have a clue how God will start me out in this new real reality; I don’t know what I will be doing.
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First I have to heal up; heal up in the now; right now. Im in that starting point for a new healing; I don’t know what it will look like; its similar to the idea of no development from ages; 3-9 that need to change. However; in this case; its about coming out of trauma and survival mode from ages 3-9. How will the universe handle this for me; what will it look like… I don’t know. Ive not a clue; Right now; Im going to 12 step groups and just talking about it; Softening things up… thats the best I can do! I mean; I know no other… I don’t know any other way…
Its about coming to the end of myself right now; so I can heal in some of those early years; after establishing that; God will show me how to redevelop in those early years and later how to perform in those yearly years outside in the real world… And from their Ill develop more important or maybe the real beginning of the concept of relationships for the first time.
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I know I want to take responsibility for going in the right direction this time; So Ill work with God on this… Let God be the direction; Ill just keep showing up to show God Im serious and I can be teachable and moldable down Gods pathway... And Im am... Im just wa...

[ Continued ]

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i'm obsessed with my acquaintance named robert john * by gen2478 on Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:44 am
it happened few times that i would not stop. i tried communicating on internet and offline and it didn't work so i had to wait a year or so.


:cry:

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therapy confusion by cscof on Fri May 16, 2014 6:37 am
Hi.
I'm new to this, but I'm also going a little nuts, so I thought I'd give it a try.
I just have some questions for the general psych population. I've been in therapy primarily with two therapists. The first time didn't work out so well. I ended up going a little nuts and thinking I was trying to kill myself. It certainly looked like I was trying to kill myself. I don't know if I was or not.
I guess I should be more specific.
I'm confused because I get painfully attached to older females. I know I'm looking for a "good mom", a replacement maternal figure because my mom for whatever reason didn't meet those needs. We're born to humans, it's a set up.
I think I'm writing this because I'm tired of feeling like I'm going to die every time I leave session. I'm tired of always thinking about my therapist. I'm tired of lying for attention and quite honestly, I'm tired of being alive most of the time. I feel like a waste.
If there is anyone who can empathize with any part of this, I'd appreciate hearing from you. Did you get through it? Did it get better? What helped? What didn't?

Thank you for your time.

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