Random Blog Entry
Am I Manic? by squiggliebuttons on Tue Feb 14, 2012 2:37 am
Today I have been a little more talkative than usual. I decided to start playing a game I quit a while ago to make my boyfriend happy. He hates FFXI, but it gives me something to do in the evenings when he is watching his gun TV shows and I don't want to. I made dinner, but I didn't do dishes as I planned to do. I haven't been arguing with my boyfriend, but I am just so scared that I may be getting manic again. Maybe it will just be hypomania and I'll be able to get through this relatively easy. My biggest fear is that my medicine is going to stop working and I'll go back to the "crazy" me that I hate. Yes, I strongly dislike who I am when I'm manic. When I'm manic it's not a pleasant experience for me, I hallucinate, I am easily angered, and I always manage to ruin my credit even more. I really hope I don't have to spend the next few days in fear of myself. I'm second guessing everything I think, everything I say and do. Hopefully when the lower level of Wellbutrin stabilizes in my system I'll be able to feel less afraid of being manic. I need to get through this. I'm just feeling so unsure of myself and I hate it.
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