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Screaming by flowingtears on Thu Dec 29, 2011 9:19 pm
*possible trigger*


I feel like screaming.
I want to hurt myself so much.
If I cut, it'll be discovered when I go back to the hospital.
I don't have enough pills to take any sort of significant overdose.
Although that could be easily fixed, I suppose.
I wouldn't take anything that'd make me too ill. Just enough so that I feel some sort of effect from it.
Who knows? I'll think about it.

What I really want is to see blood. I hate my psychiatrist for refusing to discharge me from hospital altogether. I mean, by the time I go back on Tuesday, I'll have only been in hospital for a couple hours during the previous week and a half. So why not just discharge me?

I met up with a friend today. That was nice. She had to go out afterwards though, so we didn't talk for very long. I wish we'd talked longer.

I got a text from another friend asking if I'm avoiding her. This is because I didn't talk to her on facebook chat, even though I was online, and because I didn't answer one of the many pointless and meaningless texts she sends me every day. She never tells me anything about her life, or how she's doing, but she wants to know every single detail about my life. She'll text to ask how I am. I'll reply, ask how she is. The answer is always ok. Then a few hours later, she'll text asking how I am again. If I don't reply quickly, she'll keep texting and asking if I'm ok, until I reply. I'll mention I'm out somewhere. She'll want to know where, who I'm with, what I'm doing. Then later, when she knows I'm back home, she'll text again and ask how my time out went.
Seriously, I need some space!

Life seems so pointless, so meaningless. Everyone dies in the end anyway, no matter what sort of life they lead.

Everyone thinks I'm doing great. Little do they know. I have to be very careful about what I say, because I'm not officially discharged yet.

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My parents's bad influence in my personality by ninagomez on Sun Mar 01, 2015 12:53 am
When we are young, there's no way we can avoid not being influenced by our parents. I never realized I had the same bad habits my parents have until I was 15. Now, I'm starting to stop acting like them....

[ Continued ]

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Introducing me by ninagomez on Sun Mar 01, 2015 12:46 am
My name is actually not Nina, but I don't feel comfortable posting with my real name.
I'm forgetting everything since 1997, coping with low self esteem, paraphilias, my parents's bad influence in my personality,...

[ Continued ]

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Take 6 Day 6 by Overcome it on Sun Mar 01, 2015 12:13 am
so far this day has been good. I haven't picked which is amazing! I can't believe I'm Gonna make it a week tomorrow. BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD ...

[ Continued ]

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slow movement upward to remembrance by OMNICELL on Sat Feb 28, 2015 11:55 pm
Im using the people in my meetings to bring me back to life! its not safe; but Im doing it anyway!

Lately ive been more honest!

The fact is is; Im using the place to get back to the middle class...

[ Continued ]

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alone by jody on Sat Feb 28, 2015 10:37 pm
Alone with Bipolar Disorder

And I think it’s because, in the end, it’s just you and your bipolar disorder. In the dark of night, when you’re home alone, flipping through channels on the TV set, it’s ...

[ Continued ]

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Re: quitting porn / masturbation for a year / hopefully forever by kezfeb15 on Sun Mar 01, 2015 1:13 pm
Hi readers

2 and half weeks and still not looked at any pornographic material and have resisted the urge to masturbate.

Sex has definitely got better all ready. I never had ED but my erection does...

[ Continued ]

Re: Touch gone wrong by Ada on Sat Feb 28, 2015 10:15 am
Welcome to the forum, Storm. :)

Blogs don't often get replies. As it's very hard to follow conversations in any...

[ Continued ]

Re: After mid-terms by xod_s on Mon Feb 23, 2015 1:25 am
-I have this thought that when I feel vindictive (or when I feel up to *acting* on my vindictiveness) I "think like a machine".

-One can internally debate whether a thought is true or not--but...

[ Continued ]

Re: Take 6 Day 1 by Ada on Sat Feb 21, 2015 9:38 pm
Would gloves or heavy hand cream help a little?

Re: I think I might give up on life. by MacBuddhaBurger on Sat Feb 21, 2015 5:52 pm
Is that the point at the point of no point?

Or just the sharp missing the point by being blunt?

I trust that you see the point, otherwise there is little point in pointing it out.

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