Random Blog Entry
Where To Start
on Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:57 pm
I am having a bit of a tough time just now - which is why I am not in bed - thinking too much.
I have had some really bad family news - I wont go into it but it has had a profound effect on me. And I think it is going to take some getting used to - so I am trying to adjust to that.
I saw an assesor yesterday for getting a support worker and they were trying their hardest to push me into the sick role - a place I fight hard not to be. I felt like a failure for needing a support worker and that I should be able to manage on my own. It is sitting there like a lump of dread atm.
Today 2 locum agencies phoned me and one had a 3 month anaesthetic job going that I of course had to turn down because of not being allowed to work and all the GMC stuff - but it sucks that I had to turn it down and it really upset me.
I dont think I am dipping I just have a lot of crap on atm.
Hugs all and hope you are well.
A wish-a desire-a craving
on Wed Apr 23, 2014 3:20 am
The hyperbolic time chamber from the "Dragonball series". A series I have conflicted,mixed to negative feelings on.
A chamber where "one year inside the chamber is the equivalent to one... [ Continued ]
on Tue Apr 22, 2014 9:48 pm
I am gonna use this blog to vent. Right now I am in a stormy relationship with a girl that suffers from borderline personality disorder. I have borderline traits myself (not diagnosed though) and right... [ Continued ]
Cut Finger and Memories of the Past
on Tue Apr 22, 2014 8:32 pm
The tip of my middle finger was sliced open kind of deep during class. Nothing serious, not much blood involved. The edges of the binder I use are a little rough; probably because it was cheaply made.... [ Continued ]
on Tue Apr 22, 2014 7:35 pm
i had this dream last night about my step dad (the only father i knew).
he had a bunch of old cars that he was fixing up and one was mine to redo. for some reason he had to get some type of medical tube... [ Continued ]
I Want to Find Myself
on Tue Apr 22, 2014 4:08 pm
I want to find myself. I want to know who I am. Do I like to wear blue jeans or skirts? I have no idea. I've always hated girly things but is it because I don't think I'm pretty enough? Do I really like... [ Continued ]
on Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:31 pm
I'm so sorry for how tough things have been for you. It's unfair that you are feeling so overwhelmed, confused or stuck. Is your therapist an existwith BPD? Maybe she isn't trained enough to help you with... [ Continued ]
Re: stop being afraid
on Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:55 am
You know, we're quite the same. I also want someone who will accept me for who I am. I always changed myself so that people will like me. But I'm tired. Its also not that easy to let people be close to... [ Continued ]
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