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The logic of my life by lilnumber9 on Sat Mar 17, 2012 8:40 am
I have more anxiety issues than I know what to do with this month. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about whether it's worthwhile to maintain the only friendship I have. Not without reason, of course.

I sometimes stay at my friend's house as a micro-vacation from the depressing life I live during the weekdays. My friend is a kindly benefactor and allows me to sleep on his couch, which is slightly less miserable for me than sleeping in my childhood bedroom at my father's house. However, for the last several months, it has become commonplace for me, upon arriving at my friend's house, to immediately initiate a neurotic cleaning spree of his filthy living room, and to sanitise his couch (he has twin boys and my friend and his wife have essentially given up trying to maintain an environment anywhere near what I might consider habitable). Today, I spent a total of two hours organising, picking up uneaten food, and vacuuming both the carpet, and the couch upon which I should currently be sleeping. I can't sleep tonight because I have too much on my mind. I'm getting into a bad routine by coming here to escape being at my dad's house. I feel like a teenager again, hiding out from the unending chaos of my home-life, which is still just as unending today as it was when I was a teenager. I can't stand it there, but I can't stand feeling like I'm being a burden on the only friend I have, either. Jeeze, I'm just full of rationality these days. Just to clarify: my friend, I think, brings me here just so I will clean his living room. And because I don't always beat him at billiards. Just some of the time. Also because he knows I'm going out of my mind at my dad's house, and he's a considerate friend.

Oh, I'm sure this is a perfectly healthy relationship. Still, how can anyone but my cats put up with me? I wouldn't be able to do it, honestly.

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Not particularly anything by pixi3 on Sun Jul 05, 2015 5:31 am
Not excited about anything, not down in the dumps. Not particularly feeling anything at all. Not a bad place to be.

Lots of work to be done. Should be more stressed. Deadlines loom. And finances are low....

[ Continued ]

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Body dysmorphia. BDD eruption. by margharris on Sun Jul 05, 2015 3:33 am
Things had been going quite well. He was heavily invested with the new girlfriend and a mate was to stay over. No time for an all day bed rescue but he could cope we thought. The AA was to help stop the...

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another title by Rigning on Sun Jul 05, 2015 12:29 am
i'm writing this because all the forums are dead and i know a moderator has to approve of this message. hi by the way.

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Transcrainial Magnetic Stimulation: Day 5 by RunawayFaye on Sat Jul 04, 2015 2:47 am
Unfortunately, the daily reporting didn't work out as planned. Between IOP, meetings, getting my brain magnetized, and placating my parents, getting to the computer hasn't been as easy as I'd like.


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a title by Rigning on Fri Jul 03, 2015 10:37 pm
sometimes i wish i had the mental acuity i had before. when wrote coherent sentences. capitalized letters. used comma properly. even big words. now i just call them big words because my brain goes prffft....

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Re: Too much light by pixi3 on Sun Jul 05, 2015 4:55 am
No, I've heard of it before but sudden exposure to light doesn't make me sneeze.

With me the aversion to eye contact is rather unusual. I normally maintain eye contact to the point that sometimes other...

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Re: This week by xod_s on Sun Jul 05, 2015 3:32 am
I did (4):Watching the movie "Plus One" on https://www.hawkinsinstitute.com/online/aspergers-dating/ .

I'm kind of reluctant about (2),(6) is ongoing and (7) requires a bit of pre-planning....

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Re: Transcrainial Magnetic Stimulation: Day 1 by RunawayFaye on Sat Jul 04, 2015 2:39 am

That's a damn good idea! I see my primary psychiatrist on Wednesday, I don't see why he couldn't just add the MDD diagnosis to the Bipolar business. Honestly, I've been more on the depressed side...

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Re: Too much light by snaga2.0 on Fri Jul 03, 2015 5:04 pm
Interesting. I share those things. In my (almost) dotage I've become much more social, but still on occasion I have a sudden, marked aversion to eye contact when speaking. For no reason whatsoever....

[ Continued ]

Re: This week by xod_s on Thu Jul 02, 2015 2:43 pm
(1),(3) and (5) are done.

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