Random Blog Entry
BLog 72: A wide world by OMNICELL on Sat Jun 02, 2012 3:15 pm
The world is a strange place,It is not what I thought,It is not what I hoped it would be. It is a mixture of all sorts of smaller granule worlds creeping upward, fighting to get to the top of the food chain.
How subtle people are about defining others,
Mental illness ( a great part of it), is the family system, and greater similar systems out side the family. Dysfunction can occur any place with people/children.
Good people with bad people; it doesn't mix.
Iv'e had such horrible luck with people. I mean horrible!!. Ive been terrorized and treated like I was nothing. . Or a nothing. Very strange to go through. Most of the time, Im dealing with competition, hatred, envy, strife, jealousy. Im dealing with bad people. Thus, God has brought me into there realm that I use them as a sharpening tool for waking up.. Its a brutal process; its working. Extreme problems require extreme measures.
Im learning how to unfreeze around people and move on, or move away. This is very important. Its very important not to fight but to move away.. Its important to learn that Im using the people around me that I get better, Im not involved, nor did I come to this turning place to get married, or be an important popular man; that was never the point. Desperation seeks a remedy. Remedies require procedures. Procedures require involvement.
Im scarred up, ripped up, mean up from the street up!
I never ended up like them. " them' is the family system I came from. As soon as it was able, the family system attempted to consume me, and with violent intent; Takeover. Evil, despicable. Im attempting to learn to get safe surroundings and come back out of the shell.
I was a child when I was real: However, Someone else's house, someone else's money and time and schools. Im not sure how to be this same person independently. I would need my dwelling, money, occupation and still be me. Lots of load trauma in this..
A portion of the world is made up of mad bad people; Simply, bad people!, these people could care less about me or how I feel or what Im worth; they are in this thing to dominate, control, manipulate .Its all about them and what they can take.
Being around bad people causes mental illness. It contributes greatly to the dysfunction of the damed.
Takers are not thinking, and they are not thinking about me. Takers are sizing me up to see what they can take; if they can take. They want to dominate and be in control, govern. They believe they are the smartest people on earth, and everyone else is stupid-o. Its all quit interesting. These villains are just dumb enough to believe everything about themselves. And, they will apply these thoughts upon me in the outside world if I cant fend them off.
My feelings get trashed as I get terrorized by jealous people. My feelings are not right or wrong; they are!
Inside me is a weak meek person scared to death, depending on the soldier me to take care of the family... No one understands this. Nothing!, and no one wants to... They don't care
The truth is good enough!
The world could care less about the truth...
I need to feel safe around others. Im learning this, practicing this. No one around me can appreciate this.. I feel like Im normal, they are all zombies. A ripped apart normal..
You can be an honest man and it means nothing!, if no status in the receivers eyes, they don't believe. If the receiver worships the world as God, then the only status proof comes through; type of work, economic level, who I know, who I came from, am I famous, how I dress, who I date, what school did you go to... Its all external status.
If the receiver loves and believes God, then , one will see the truth in me. One will value the fact that Im an honest man with a good heart. Because, that is what I am.. ITs an inside job.
To many spoiled people who are extremely...
[ Continued ]
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