I often find my self stressing out so much when an event I have to attend is coming up. I get so low and depressed and I panic, I don't want to go! I find myself saying "I'm to fat to go" "I'm ugly, how can I go to a party full of beautifull people I look hideous". If I must go I spend every day before it planning my "getting ready routine" and what I'm going to wear. But it's rare I go.

But I've not been out, other than to go work and back, for quite some months now. I alway make up excuses. I actually lie to my friends. I feel really bad about lieing, but what else can I do? My friend asked me to go out tonight with her and some of her work friends, I told her was going out for a meal with my family so I couldn't go. But tonight I will be sitting in my house. I do it all the time, tell lies. But it's much better than the alternative of telling them how I feel, know one would understand.

I used to love going out, but over the past year I have started to hate it. The sheer thought of it has me panicking.

Katrina x