feel like throwing up - Psych forums

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peaklite: Consumer 6; Posts: 286; Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 10:21 pm; Blog: View Blog (187)

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feel like throwing up

by peaklite on Mon Mar 10, 2014 9:34 pm

she got angry at me and logged off. i caused it as usual by telling her why i got jealous. i couldn't help myself but log onto her facebook to see if she was still online... i wasn't planning to do anything. but i did. i searched my name in the chat and read what she said about me to her friends. she loves me... that's cool... but her friends think i'm a controlling f*cker... sure i get jealous as f*ck but i'm not controlling, i never stop her doing anything... i never tell her don't do this, i tell her do it if you want. if you wanna go party do it. i never tell her not to go out. and she's got this impression on me that i'm a controlling guy... i can't believe it. seriously. i feel like throwing up. it's a combination of rage and sadness at being rejected... all i wanted to do was fit in and then my efforts are thrown back into my face. people are cruel. how can i continue a relationship where her friend/s hate me? that was only her opinion. i'm not going to end it but i'm going to put it lightly as possible that i can't see her friends anymore. she can take it from there. maybe she'll realise i checked and get angry at me... but whatever she does it's too late now that i've seen. everything has changed. i've never felt this way completely before, the 'splitting' in bpd... but i'm getting it now. not towards her, but towards her friends. i thought she liked me. but clearly not. b*tches are snakes. i won't be able to talk to her friends anymore.

Figuring out what's wrong with me

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