by nam24601 on Sat Apr 07, 2012 4:04 am
Dear Nam, from now on I'm going to write to you. Together we will finally learn who I am. We'll take a journey through the past, one memory at a time, and we'll discuss all our ludicrous thoughts. Other people may read it, and give any well-intentioned feedback, because let's face it---we desperately need any form of validation and acceptance we can get right now!
Right now I know you are feeling extremely vulnerable. You keep reaching out to your friends, and you try so hard to fit in but ultimately you don't feel like you fit anywhere. You keep spending time with people who, despite their good intentions, can't give you what you need because you desperately need to feel accepted at all costs. So you tell yourself you're attempting to socialize. And you sit there with your plastic smile and your superficial tales. You tell yourself that this is as good as it gets. You say or do something stupid and suddenly the walls go up. Invisible walls. The self-berating begins. You convince yourself that nothing you do will ever be enough. You pull away, certain that everyone is having a much better time without you! You cry yourself to sleep, feeling more alone and tainted than ever. You wake up the next day and attempt to socialize. You sit with your friends, but don't really feel like you fit...
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