She broke up with me. No real reason, she said she needs space and that I, yes, I, wasn't happy therefore she wasn't. I insisted I was but she didn't accept so I guess there is something else going on. But I don't care about that, it's over now. She said she doesn't want it to be forever but I can't be there as insurance for her, that if her life fails she can come back to me.
I'm not even upset as I've been in the past, over the 9 months of us I've cried so much about me thinking she didn't love me that it hasn't even sunk in properly the day after, even though this time is for real. I still love her and I think I'll always miss her, even if I don't love her forever. We shared too many good times to simply forget about, first kiss, virginity, everything else. I'm thankful to her for what she has gave me, it's been a great experience.
The hardest part will be saying no if she decides to come back to me.
I guess this blog is over for now, until I find something else which triggers me as bad. My symptoms were lessening which explains why I haven't made as many blog posts recently, but I guess that doesn't matter anymore.