Oh dear. I have fallen off the DVD waggon & bought a bunch of DVDs. None very expensive on their own (they're all pre-owned) but it adds up!
I think I'm pinpointing the triggers to buying them though, and noting the feelings I get beforehand, and it all boils down to the loneliness, my low self-esteem and that buying them makes me feel good - a wee endorphin rush, if you will! It's as if I'm thinking, "Well, my life's rubbish & I don't get out much - I deserve a treat from time to time!" And the walls of DVDs - they're like a kind of fortress or security blanket (weird, I know!)
So I'm not at all proud of myself! But tomorrow is another day, right? Wish me luck while I pick myself up, dust myself down & get back on the waggon...
Oh, I've got an appointment with the rheumatologist tomorrow. Try & find out what form of EDS or connective tissue disorder I actually have. Because of my heart trouble, I'm concerned it may be the vascular form of EDS & I hope to God it isn't that, as apparently the mean age of survival with that is 40 and I'm already 47... But more likely than not it's the Hypermobility variant - my ability to dislocate my own fingers and flap them up & down like a demented castanet-player goes down a storm at parties!