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lonelydaydream
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Please don't tell me to "see a therapist"
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Fell off the DVD waggon...

Permanent Linkby lonelydaydream on Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:56 pm

Oh dear. I have fallen off the DVD waggon & bought a bunch of DVDs. None very expensive on their own (they're all pre-owned) but it adds up! :cry:

I think I'm pinpointing the triggers to buying them though, and noting the feelings I get beforehand, and it all boils down to the loneliness, my low self-esteem and that buying them makes me feel good - a wee endorphin rush, if you will! It's as if I'm thinking, "Well, my life's rubbish & I don't get out much - I deserve a treat from time to time!" And the walls of DVDs - they're like a kind of fortress or security blanket (weird, I know!)

So I'm not at all proud of myself! But tomorrow is another day, right? Wish me luck while I pick myself up, dust myself down & get back on the waggon...

Oh, I've got an appointment with the rheumatologist tomorrow. Try & find out what form of EDS or connective tissue disorder I actually have. Because of my heart trouble, I'm concerned it may be the vascular form of EDS & I hope to God it isn't that, as apparently the mean age of survival with that is 40 and I'm already 47... :cry: But more likely than not it's the Hypermobility variant - my ability to dislocate my own fingers and flap them up & down like a demented castanet-player goes down a storm at parties! :)

"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well." Mother Juliana of Norwich, 15th century.
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Re: Fell off the DVD waggon...

Permanent Linkby Snaga on Sat Feb 18, 2017 2:18 am

Considering you're already past the mean survival for the worse kind, and the other is much more common, correct? Prayers and fingers crossed...

I don't think it's odd at all to think of something, anything, as a security blanket. I've never been much of one for substance abuse, save alcohol on occasion. And I'm usually too frugal to spend large amounts on stuff, but addictive/unhealthy behaviors..... yes I definitely empathise on the level of 'I'm doing this and I can't seem to stop'.


It seems that it should be so simple. It's just a behavior, right? Just don't buy them! If only... For folks like us, it can be as difficult as any substance abuse. Maybe worse- what's a DVD, right?

Hang in there sweets!
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Re: Fell off the DVD waggon...

Permanent Linkby lonelydaydream on Sat Feb 18, 2017 12:31 pm

[quote="Snaga"]Considering you're already past the mean survival for the worse kind, and the other is much more common, correct? Prayers and fingers crossed...

I don't think it's odd at all to think of something, anything, as a security blanket. I've never been much of one for substance abuse, save alcohol on occasion. And I'm usually too frugal to spend large amounts on stuff, but addictive/unhealthy behaviors..... yes I definitely empathise on the level of 'I'm doing this and I can't seem to stop'.


It seems that it should be so simple. It's just a behavior, right? Just don't buy them! If only... For folks like us, it can be as difficult as any substance abuse. Maybe worse- what's a DVD, right?

Hang in there sweets![/quote]

Thanks for your kind reply! It's good news - I have the benign EDS Hypermobility Syndrome. It mixes & matches nicely with the CFS and Fibromyalgia I've already got lol. The doctor thinks that my heart condition (Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome) is a separate issue, as is the early menopause - I'm just unlucky. What a life! No wonder I go comfort-shopping lol! At least I'm not on illegal drugs or alcohol, I guess...

I know what you mean when you say it isn't as simple as "stop buying them then", although that is indeed the logical answer. I have a friend who binge-eats and I once said to her "Well, enjoy your biscuits but just have one or two per day - they'll still be in the tin for tomorrow!" The look she gave me! But I understand it a bit better now & can empathise now I have my own addiction!
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well." Mother Juliana of Norwich, 15th century.
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lonelydaydream
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Re: Fell off the DVD waggon...

Permanent Linkby tmc115 on Mon Jun 12, 2017 8:51 pm

Hope you are doing alright. I wanna read another blog soon, OK?
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