Borderline Personality Disorder
what would be a bad feeling for you.. a ripple in the water.. to me is a crashing wave.
there is no regulation of emotion for me. its all or nothing. good or bad. black or white.
you want me to just act and be normal. i tried but its no use. its my personality.
when im Alone i cant tell if anyone was ever really there.
Alone is the worst feeling for me, yet i always feel Alone.
sometimes i feel so much negative emotion i just need to bleed it out.
sometimes i cut so i'll feel Something, Anything, besides Empty.
i feel so Small compared to my problems.
you say i'm making mountains out of molehills
but to me all i see are mountains.
Bipolar Disorder
Fear. Paranoia. Anxiety. Panic. Euphoria. Anger. Regret. Despair.
my moods change just like that. and i dont understand why.
sometimes things get too intense and i reach out for help.
medication to take, to forget, to hate, but always to take.
should i skip a dose im up for days. so manic.
then i crash. i cut. i stop eating. i cry for days.
its a cycle i cant get out of by myself. Alone