siting in my room in a psych ward bored out of my mind.

this morning i went to the shops (i can come and go which is good so i can get out for a bit)

im so glad that this unit let me bring in my laptop. i was here for a week without it and it was sooooo boring but now i have it. i have asked in other wards and they say no. it gets locked up when im not using.

im not going back to were i was living so i have to wait for them to find me a new place on my own.

there isn't much interesting stuff to add so i will come back later.

Oh, you can come and go! That's great to hear. I thought you were completely locked up. I didn't realize that you can reply to blog entries; that's why I threw you the offer to PM here. I was worried about you feeling alone and out-of-contact with the outside world. Most people don't care. To most those in hospitals are just 'nutters' and no mind is paid to them. Well, those who don't understand anyway.

Why am I caring? I have no idea. I suppose I've just kinda emotionally invested in you--I don't know why. I think it's as the idea of being in a psych hospital scares me so I'm concerned for your emotional well-being. I think it's also as I can see the sorrow in your words, they grab me in a way.

I tend to do that, anyway--someone will catch me on rare occasion so I generally care a lot about a select few, and then have a hard time caring about others. You should be flattered in that regard Maybe it's as I relate to you on some level--more than I realize. No idea.

Part of my point here also is that I'm not just some guy stalking you, and that my Will is good.

May I ask what happened with your other accommodation; that is, why you lost it?

Be well,.. peace.

i lost it because i was going to stab one of the other people there (there were 2 others there) and i wrote on paper in my own blood that i will stab her ect (lots of disturbing things like that) i was sick of her and was really depressed and had bad anxiety so i ask to be hospitalized for a few days didn't help got discharged ended up back in hospital 7 hours later but this time the police saw what i had been writing (half in my own blood and half in texta) they took it to the hospital with us. my workers had a meeting and diced i will not go back and i agree with them it will get to the point it was at were 1 i kill her/hurt her 2 i hurt/kill myself 3 ended back in hospital 4 prison 5 go around lighting fires

i had a lot of homicidal thoughts not just at her but to any random person and i wanted to go around randomly starting fires and i was at the point of acting on them. (i still have these thoughts but i will not act on them at this point in time, in future who knows)

i love watching stuff burn and watching blood or someone bleed (i know im f**ked in the head no one needs to point that out)

edited because i posted it twice