Last night was not a good night. I considered overdosing, but realised I don't have enough pills to kill me, just enough to damage my liver. So I decided against it.
I sent my best friend a text to say I missed her, hoping she'd text back and I could talk to her. She didn't reply last night, so I thought "Stupid bitch, she doesn't care about me, I hate her."
I got a reply this morning saying she loved and missed me, and asking how I was. I thought "I love her, I'm so lucky to have her as my friend." I replied, telling her I feel empty and lonely, and asking how she is. I didn't get a reply, even though I saw she posted on facebook after I'd texted her. So I thought, "She doesn't really care about how I am, she's not a real friend, I hate her."
It gets exhausting constantly changing my opinion of people, but it just seems to happen automatically.