I am back and have been thinking about my journey with sex addiction. I have to the realization I cant be normal and have a normal sex life. I have to rewire myself so I don't act out. I seen the woman I had the sexual relationship with when I was 16 and she 36. I froze up as its been at least 10 years since I seen her. She spoke to me and I return the gesture. I wanted to tell her she affected me for the worst but I left the store after a brief conversation. I told her I am married and she told me I will always be hers. I left the store and she has been on my mind ever since. I will keep busy so I don't deal with the memories. She stays in my old neighborhood by my granny's house and I am reluctant to go by there now.

I had to stay at a hotel and we drank alot last night. When I saw three older women, one talked to me for a while and I became attracted to me. I work with her as well and will se her for projects. I was scared to death as my teenage years @!@@@!. She rubbed my arm and she seemed happy to see me. I dont want to relapse or seek out these kind of women.

I thought back from when I first started having sex and it was with older females when I was 16. The first female had a crush on me and and she went down on me and I had intercourse with her. She was 18 and affected me tremendously. I sought older adult women and I feel into the claws of a 36 year old woman a few months later. I thought I was cool but now realized she took advantage of me sexually. i would feel bad after sex but crave her. I never told anyone my relationship with this lady. I would even give her money as I had a huge flux from my mom for whatever(she spoiled me) but I still fear my mother to this day. She was very hard on me to do good in school and sports and I did.

For a long time I would need to have my sex needs fulfilled in many ways.
I will write more soon but feel better to talk on here.

You are at the edge of acting out because of your husband. If I had you as my wife, being fulfilled would be no problem as my drive is high but only want to please my wife daily. I hope your hubby see your frustration and use whatever resources to cool you off.