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crazymoth
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My Star Trek Site
   Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:34 pm

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My Star Trek Site

Permanent Linkby crazymoth on Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:34 pm

I'm a big fan of Star Trek. I remember waiting for the next show every weekend when I was young. Me and my group of geek friends at middle school would talk about making our own Star Trek shows.

I grew up, went to college, and eventually those Star Trek dreams returned. So... I started writing and creating my own fictional series based on Star Trek universe.

Here is my website: STARTREKQ.COM

I tried to make some real progress with this series. I contacted several directors and writers of Star Trek and got a meeting with Levar Burton (Geordi Laforge). Also talked about it with one of the big writers of Deep Space Nine, Rene Echevarria who also created the 4400.

You can imagine how exciting that was for me. They had a lot of good ideas and I got to brainstorm with Rene a little. Very cool.

Unfortunately, it never went beyond that. CBS and Paramount refuse to fund another Star Trek series so I am left waiting and hoping that someday I'll get that callback. I don't have my fingers crossed... I know how this stuff goes. You're nobody in Hollywood unless you know somebody and have a rep.

Still... I got to dream and dream big. I also have a sci-fi and a fantasy novel I'm working on. Someday I hope to be published which is a lot easier than making it in Hollywood. :P
Last edited by crazymoth on Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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How I got Schizophrenia Part 1

Permanent Linkby crazymoth on Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:32 am

It all started in Chicago. I was in college and in love with the best girlfriend I've ever had. She was so beautiful.... a Norwegian goddess with long blond hair, blue eyes, and so full of life. We almost got married but schizophrenia took me first. :cry: Her name was Kari and I miss her so much. Now, she's engaged to some prick she doesn't really love and I've given up trying to change her mind about me. She wants nothing to do with a psychotic. The stigma of schizophrenia. :| She's just afraid I think. Afraid of me flipping out again.

I started spending more time alone. I would go out into the forest and nature trails with my pipe and spend all day out there with Nature smoking and getting high. It became such a ritual and it was so much fun at first. I got to see some really amazing things... which I thought at the time could be Nature Guardians. They sang to me out there under the trees and I thought I had gone to Heaven. There was a moth that flew around me and made the most beautiful and haunting chirps. The moth gave me some kind of energy and I could see the auras on trees and animals. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I wrote a book about it and self-published it. I get some sales now and again... so that's pretty cool.

But then I would come home and I could hear my neighbors banging on the walls. They would make so much noise! Every time I was happy they would knock on the walls as if I was disturbing them. I moved like 3 times just to find a quieter apartment. I still don't know why they did that. I don't think it was a hallucination because I was visited by the Chicago Psychic Association. I came home one day to find their card on my door with a phone number to call. "Please call us!" it said. Someone had obviously contacted them asking for help in dealing with me. Like I said.... I don't know what I was doing to my neighbors. I was just happy and this disturbed them somehow. I still have their card to prove it. So something was obviously going on.

Then I started hearing voices in my head. I would watch a lot of science-fiction and it was crazy when these Star Trek and Star Wars characters appeared in my mind. I felt like I was in a movie of my own. They where nice at first and I thought I was making contact with the real actors or something. But then they turned evil and called me names and hit me with invisible fists over and over until I cried myself asleep.

One day I just had enough. I had no idea that I was ill or had schizophrenia. I ran away from school, and from my girlfriend, and from Chicago altogether... took a bus to Texas to see my old friend who lived out in the boonies. Spent some time with him but the illness took me again. A few weeks after that I was lost. I started hitch-hiking around Texas, wandering around just walking from day to night and sleeping in garbage bins. It was winter and I almost froze to death some nights. And all this time the voices would get worse and worse. I thought that aliens where coming for me and that I was the One and had to protect the Earth from their psychic invasion.

The voices where out of control. So one night I went into a supermarket and stold 3 bottles of sleeping pills. I went out to a secluded part in the woods and swallowed them all with a Mountain Dew I had also stolen.

I took the pills and lay down. It wasn't long before I could not even move my neck. I was going under. And then I could hear something coming toward me... footsteps. There was nobody out there in the dark woods. And yet I could hear footsteps getting closer and closer to me. My last thought was... The Angel of Death.

(continued in next post...)
Last edited by crazymoth on Wed Aug 31, 2011 9:23 am, edited 3 times in total.

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How I got Schizophrenia Part 2

Permanent Linkby crazymoth on Thu Jul 28, 2011 9:16 am

(continued...)

When I came to, I was walking around miles away from where I had died. How had I gotten here? Why was I standing up? Walking? Who had been in control of my body to walk all the way here with me having no memory of it? I scanned my memory... I could remember something. I remember a fragmented memory of me jumping up from my place of suicide - and I mean jumping! I remembered I had jumped 10 feet into the air like Superman. Maybe God himself had taken control of my body while I was dead... And walked me 5 miles to this place. I was in the parking lot of a Walmart I recognized and above me in the sky was the most beautiful double rainbow I have ever seen. It was perfect and so big! I stared at it for long minutes as the drizzle settled on my head and shoulders. It was the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen or ever will see probably.

I was so tired though. I went into walmart to find a place to sit. I wandered around and it was very empty being early in the morning. Then I saw someone, a walmart employee. She was walking toward me and she made eye contact with me. I was so afraid and tired. As she went by she said, "You can't escape." To this day it still freaks me out!

I found a cushion seat in Shoes and went to sleep. I woke up in an hour or two and got out of there.

I eventually sobered up and some sanity returned. I called my Mom from Texas and she wired me some money. I was so happy to be going home. I had been homeless and a crazy wanderer for more than 3 months.

When I got home though... my schizophrenia returned. There was another episode where I almost killed my Mom. I was then hospitalized and started taking meds.

It's 10 years later and I still have schizophrenia. I like taking my meds because they keep the delusions away. It's a better day for me now because I know how to drive the illness. I started my own videogame studio and now I make a living selling games online.

So I made it... I am damaged but free. I MADE IT!!! :P

I only hope now that I can help someone else with this illness. That is why I hang around this forum. Maybe I can help someone who is going thru the same things I have.

If you ever need someone to chat with PM me. I love to talk to others with mental disabilities. We are all heroes. We really are.

Thanks for reading. :D
Last edited by crazymoth on Wed Aug 31, 2011 9:29 am, edited 18 times in total.

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