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colburt91
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just don't know
   Fri Dec 06, 2013 9:18 pm

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identifying triggers

Permanent Linkby colburt91 on Fri Oct 19, 2012 12:37 am

Well since I was home most of the day due to a medication allergic reaction I was able to sit down and think of the most prominent triggers I have for both Hypomania and agitation/anxiety.
First and foremost is my boss at work, I cannot even go close to her without feeling an intense amount of anxiety/irritation mainly because of problems we've had in the past. Even the thought of being in the same building puts me off the rocker.
Second is my workload...when hypomanic I am fine with it and get everything done and fast...but as the day wears on I get more and more irritated at the amount and that I am actually doing wayyyy too much of someone elses work. When mixed my workload always puts me in a depressive state and I get nothing done...absolutely nothing and that sends me deeper until I need a couple days off to bring myself together(rarely works)
Caffeine, mmm coffee, always puts me in hypomania if I have anymore then two a day. This stimulant I abuse way to often.
Alcohol is always a trigger for hypomania, that is only one beer can trigger it, thats a stimulant I rarely use and basically cut out. But I love the temporary "high" it gives.
Cocky people, when mixed/depressed, irritate me the worst and throws me into rage filled hypomania and will do EVERYTHING in my power to prove them wrong in some way or another. Gives me a boost and I will do anything to provide myself with this boost.
Noise, yelling/talking loud/ un-needed noise, always puts me into a hypomania state where I my anxiety levels scream high and irritation at its worst.

Then comes my depressive triggers;
Mainly my biggest is everytime I come off a high period I will plummet very low and low indeed.
But finances will put me even lower...lowest of low is finances, broken promises, lies and critism towards me. I have found my paranoia is always onset when I am depressed and always thinking people are talking about me behind my back. It happens usually on a daily basis. Another onset/trigger for my depressive episodes comes from any small thing that to a normal person is just another problem that can be fixed easily....but for me it isn't. It'll send me into a deep deep depression which isn't good.
My depressive episodes over the years I have learned to manipulate and decieve others in thinking I am as bad as I am...but for the past few months I cannot control them and hide the way I could before and it bothers me even more. Along comes racing thoughts or self harm and suicidal thinking. I use sleep as my main coping method if I can get to sleep. Thoughts racing usually prevents sleeping but I've seen another route around this and that is going for a long drive somewhere away from society and triggers.

Along comes delusions and extreme paranoia when I am fully low...I hear things every so often...but not all the time.

Bipolar 1 rapid cycling mixed states, Social Phobia, Generalized Anxiety, Poly-Substance abuse

300mg Seroquel XR night
50mg seroquel morning
900mg Lithmax night
175mg Lamictal morning(Off this one)
4mg clonazepams anytime(Currently off this one)
100mg seroquel for sleep
2mg Ativan as needed
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