I feel like nothing better than crap and I'm not doing anything for this stupid thanksgiving #######4 tomorrow.

AND I DON'T CARE WHAT MY FAMILY THINKS OF IT!

I'm not forcing myself out of the house for something that means nothing to me and is of absolutely no interest at all. What's gonna happen, are they gonna do what my mom did and threaten to call the police on me for refusing to go do some stupid $#%^? She did that, and it happened twice before, but that was for, oh hell, ######6 SOUL DEPLETING LIFELESS SCHOOL! I hated it so much I don't even want to talk about it. They can't do that for a simple holiday though, so for that, I'm set.

And they can't help me either, because I am my own problem. I don't act against my problems. Nothing ever physically prevented me from accomplishing things, or just living a life that's more like normal rather than a life of doing hardly anything at all. The decisions that we, ourselves make, is what it all comes down to, anything anyone else says or does is secondary.

But it would be completely ridiculous for me to blame myself for being so screwed up. And as such, I don't.

And you know why I hate holidays? Because others' happiness does NOT bring me even the slightest amount of joy. Instead, it makes me even more alone in my $#%^ life. "Look at all those people so satisfied with things the way they are. Meanwhile your life sucks. How does that make you feel? You have no company in your suffering. None of them feel this way."

I wish I could just sleep it away. Go to bed and wake up in 2017. Or just not wake up at all. Or just disappear. I wish I could vanish from existence.

Hugs, if wanted, and I'm sorry the holidays put you in a dark place like this. But they ARE the holidays, to spend as you wish, and no one should make you do something you don't want to do, it harms no one for you to abstain, and if that's what makes you feel more at ease, they should respect that. I hope you don't get hassled for not wanting to take part.

If they only understood better. I was called Scrooge by someone once, albeit in a light-hearted manner, for the most part. I was in one of those very low moods at the time of this post.

Heh, I see you're in the spirit with the profile picture. Maybe I should make something more positive of this blog.

nothing like having some Pilgrims for dinn- sorry, having some Pilgrims OVER for dinner....

Sweetie, it's your blog, make of it what you wish (within forum rules ofc). What do you think I do in mine? Whine like hell. This is the place for it and I spare my loved ones my drama.