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bourbon
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- October 2011
Switchy
   Wed Oct 19, 2011 6:04 pm
crying
   Fri Oct 07, 2011 9:39 pm

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Switchy

Permanent Linkby bourbon on Wed Oct 19, 2011 6:04 pm

Feeling really switchy. Like I want to go somewhere, vast, empty and huge and just purge out everything and allow whoever is inside to go mad. I need an empty room with white walls. I need a punch bag for Anger. I need cuddly toys for Alice. I need console games for the teens. I need nice smells, insense or similar. I need huge canvases to paint on with a multitude of colours and a multitude of brushes. But the main thing is I need a big white empty space. I am feeling claustrophobic in here, in my own skin. Something or someone is going to blow.

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crying

Permanent Linkby bourbon on Fri Oct 07, 2011 9:39 pm

The thing with children is they don't always cry "properly".

My best friends baby cries because he is upset but it is a much more "shallow" cry.

Of course there are times when he sheds real tears, but most the time it's just wailing.

And that is what Alice does.

That is what I'm doing tonight.

I'm upset. I'm wailing. But I'm shedding no tears. I'm not really crying.

It makes me want to rip at my skin and do something that will make me properly cry so I can get this lump in my throat out of me.

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