Got an appointment with my doctor tomorrow; been seeing him regularly now for about 5 months since I was prescribed anti-depressants. I will try to communicate that I think I have to talk to someone. I'm not good at asking for things, so that may work out or it may not but I'm going to try. It could be a therapist or whoever, but someone or something because I don't feel well at all. The anti-depressants helped relieve that empty pressure in my chest, but now I think it is more clear than ever that there is something else wrong as well. I don't know what else to do. I don't know if I can live feeling like this forever (but who knows, I was in such pain for several years and still couldn't manage to work up the nerve to kill myself). I know I don't _want_ to feel like this.
I hate this waiting. Time is too slow for waiting. Life is too boring and too painful for waiting.
I'm starting to doubt that there is anything I can do about it.
And while I'm waiting I'm also dreading the inevitable future. The decisions that have to be made. The obligations. The things that must be done.
No ending.