I've been thinking about suicide for years now. It may still be a few years until I'm ready, but today I feel like I will actually be able to go through with it one day. This is my way. I spend years doing mental preparation and then one day I buy a dog/talk to a therapist/kill myself.
I want to be ready. I want to know the final how and when. Put things in order.
The weather is perfect, the forest is dry. It could have been today. But no.
I miss my dog.