Over the last few years I have been enjoying christmas less and less. I remember that I used to get that special feeling, at least during the preparations on the 23rd. This year I finally felt nothing.
And I feel nothing about feeling nothing. It was an expected step.

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And now I want to go home. I "fear" that I will never have a legitimate reason for not going to my parents for christmas. If I had a boyfriend I might be able to stop coming in a few years, but I doubt that that will happen any time soon.

I'm getting very tired of doing things simply to avoid hurting other people's feelings, or because it's what is expected. I would like to proclaim my thoughts and force others to adapt to me for once.

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At least I get to go home before new year's eve.