If it is true that my ex did nothing wrong and I have to forgive him then it must mean that it is my fault that I am ugly. God made me this ugly and He made men so that they only like skinny blondes so that must mean that He doesn't want me to be loved, and a life without Love has no purpose and if it has no purpose then why am I still here? Why can't I simply have the guts to end this worthless life? If this is God's will that I have no purpose then why can't I just die?

Just when I started making friends on the internet my boss blocked my internet access. Now I am totally alone again. What's the use of living? I keep praying to die but God doesn't kill me because he is spiteful. It's not as if my life has a purpose so it must just be spite.

I feel like I am standing in the middle of the ocean with mist everywhere around me so I cannot see. I have no more hope for the future. I don't know where to go since everywhere looks the same and feels the same - lonely. How can I feel so empty, so alone, and yet feel like my chest is being constricted and heavy?...

What is there to live for if not love? Love was the only thing on this world worth living for and now it is gone forever... I feel so lost.

I'm having a really lonely and empty week. I feel so sad and so alone. It hurts physically. I feel like I can't breathe. I just want to die. I would rather die a thousand deaths than continue this lonely existence. It hurts. It hurts so bad but I can't show it. It hurts...

I recently lost everything I hold dear. Most people measure success by the amount of money they make. I always measure it by whether or not you are married. Love is so important for me that it is how I measure my success. So when I lost the love of my life and all my friends abandoned me I felt like giving up. That life holds no more promise or hope and that I will never be successful since I will never be loved.

I will give anything to be loved...