Very disappointed and ashamed to say I acted out today. The urge to act out came on very suddenly. My resolve rating has been consistently at 100% recently and I have been keeping up with this recovery diary and daily recovery work. I think what brought this one was boredom at work on Friday, which lead to me drinking alcohol yesterday. I very rarely drink alchohol, pretty much never. I didn't drink much it was just a couple of drinks whilst out with friends. However, I think the alcohol messed up my routine a bit and unsettled me. I didnt' sleep as peacefully as normal and although it doesn't sound much, as a sex addict that's the kind of thing that can set off acting out behaviour.

I am not giving up though, I am determined and comitted to getting sober. After a relapse I try to look at how I can change and improve my strategy as far as recovery work goes. I'm frsutrated that recently I was sober for 8.5 months and following that the relapses have been happening at shorter intervals. This latest relapse follwed a period of 27 days sober. That 8.5 month sober run isn't the first of its kind since this addiction started so I know I can do better.

Anyway, as promised to myself I will now start going to 12 step meetings in person. I am going to go to local meetings (and also do online skype telemeetings). From my research and learning this is an essential part of recovery work, along with getting a sponsor so although I wanted to give myself one more chance to not go to these meetings, it was probably inevitable that I would have to make them part of my recovery work. Obviously I am going to keep writing and posting this diary so I will let you know how the meetings go.

Very sorry to hear that! Still we know you can do it again- a long string of days sober.

Thanks Snaga! Was just checking back to see if I'd beaten my last sober run which I have and noticed your comment.