Haven't been here in a very long time. Maybe coming on here will help me. It's been a crazy year.
I'm feeling absolutely sh*t.
I am so stressed and so alone.
I need it to all get better. I can't cope.
I haven't been going to University again. For weeks. I've missed all sorts of oppurtunities.
I can see that it's my own behaviour that keeps me lonely and unhappy but I can't help it.
I keep people away from me yet crave and desire meaningful relationships so much.
But I don't trust anyone. Everyone hurts me. I feel as though I've entered a new level of not giving a f*ck this year. But my mood swings are worse than ever. I cannot keep up with myself.
How I wish I was just slightly more normal and able to function in society.
I feel very low lately. And my self esteem is taking a hit too.
And everything my boyfriend does is making me feel rejected. Every thing. He does everything for me and can't do enough for me but he's getting fed up with my constant flipping over something he says or something I just suddenly think of or something small he does. I just can't help it.
He reassures me constantly that he loves me more than he's ever loved anyone and we will be together forever and he'll always be there for me. But I keep perceiving rejection in everything.
I want everything to be ok. I felt stronger before and more in control. Now I feel weak and vulnerable.
I don't know how to control myself. I am very sad. It's Christmas again. Everyone is happy. And I'm just miserable. And pointless. I need to get a grip of this. Please someone send me some love.

Hang in there, sweet pea

[quote="Snaga"]Hang in there, sweet pea[/quote]
Thank you. I'm currently in a much better mood.