bad night write delete write delete psychosomatics unimportant do not describe it do not explain it why is that what was my mistake write delete no one there it is ok it is a certain state i do not wait i do nothing that is what i am forced to forced to do nothing accept being there ok i accept it accept accept the pain i wish i was stop that do. otmwish it adds to it no wishes cut the crap i am so sorry shut up i hate this body and mind is there write delete delete,delete accept it accept accept accept do not fight back but the time is not passing? It passes. Trust me. Don't fight back.
... Two hours have passed now. No pain anymore, good.
ah, no, it starts again. c.o.m.e"on!
but this time i fight it i fight it you dont take my place and my existence you have had it already get OUT!
Write. delete. I am 100% disabled atm Another 30 minutes. I do not stand it this way. Stop fighting again. Whoa
Ok, let us double the risperidone...
write, delete. I would like to do something to kill time... read. 5 Minutes. No focus. Stop. I can wait now. Another 30 minutes. Risperidone coming. Wave breaks. Shore. Onomatopoetic. Shore. Shore. Shore. German word for Heroin. Nonsense. I am pro meds. I think I can sleep now. Three and a half hours in total. I am back. This was a quick one. I will function tomorrow. Great.